Gossip

An interesting passage from the play "Doubt: A Parable" by John Patrick Shanley. The character who recites it is a Catholic Priest who is suspected by a head Nun of committing lewd acts towards a child. At the end of the play, the audience is left to figure out whether we believe him or the Nun. The following is his sermon. I thought the metaphor he used captured how uncontrollable and destructive rumors can be.
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A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man she hardly knew - I know none of you have ever done this - that night she had a dream. A great hand appeared over her and pointed down at her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O’Rourke, and she told him the whole thing.

‘Is gossiping a sin?’ she asked the old man. ‘Was that the hand of God Almighty pointing a finger at me? Should I be asking your absolution? Father, tell me, have I done something wrong?’

(Irish Brogue)
‘Yes!’ Father O’Rourke answered her. ‘Yes, you ignorant, badly broughtup female! You have borne false witness against your neighbor, you have played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed!’

So the woman said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness.

‘Not so fast!’ says O’Rourke. ‘I want you to go home, take a pillow up on your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me!’

So the woman went home, took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to the roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed.

‘Did you gut the pillow with the knife?’ he says.

‘Yes, Father.’

‘And what was the result?’

‘Feathers,’ she said.

‘Feathers?’ he repeated.

‘Feathers everywhere, Father!’

‘Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind!’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘it can’t be done. I don’t know where they went. The wind took them all over.’

‘And that,’ said Father O’Rourke, ‘is GOSSIP!’

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen.

Precious

It's almost 1am on the morning of Thanksgiving 2009. I can't sleep, so I thought writing would possibly induce it.

I recently saw the movie Precious. I read the novel it was based on (Push) over a year ago and was kind of psyched to see how a filmmaker could transpose such a heavy, emotionally charged book to the silver screen. Needless to say, I was really moved and happy that the movie did the book justice.

Push deals with so much crazy. The issues it tackles range from rape to incest to obesity to mental illness to HIV, all set against the backdrop of Harlem in 1987. The film is way less graphic than the book. While the themes explored can easily be geared towards the Black American community, the story is actually quite universal. It raises a mirror that reflects so much of society's ills that are often ignored and swept under the rug -- only to occasionally appear on the evening news or Oprah. Without spoiling it for anyone, all I can say after seeing the movie is I have nothing to complain about. NOTHING. As bleak as the main character's life was, she still maintained a sense of hope. One must always remember that.

So anyway, like I said, it is Thanksgiving. Happy Turkey Day! There is much to be thankful for this year! We are hosting it at our house. Growing up, most Thanksgivings were held at our house. My enthusiasm for family gatherings has waned over the years. I'm not sure if it's me or everyone else. Of course the easy thing to say is, it's everyone else. There have been moments that have really disappointed me. Those moments continue to make me wonder whether others value relationships the same way I do. All part of growing pains, I suppose. One blogger summed it up better than I could:
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I hope my generation and the ones that follow will not lose old school morals. I hope they still hold a place today, because I know I'm trying to cling on to them. Helping your neighbor, being loyal and just thinking past yourself. It's scary when you can't trust someone you thought you knew. Pulling the wool out of your eyes and all that. I guess it's a part of growing up, but that also makes me sad. Someone told me I was 12 years old going on 45. I think there may be some truth in that even though I said "eww" when told this. Maybe I want to capture how in harmony things were when I was 12 years old. I know everything wasn't perfect back then, but it felt less scary. It's weird that I'm starting to become the narrator in the Wonder Years- the older brown girl version of Kevin Arnold.
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I'm considering privatizing this blog. If you happen to come upon it one day and realize you must request to read it, please don't hesitate to ask. I think perhaps I will need to take my writing to another level. I doubt many read this anyway.

Looks like it's done the trick. Good night~~

Lush

I've recently taken to a skin-care line called Lush. Since I've had time on my hands, I can't resist researching and watching videos on recommended products for hair and skin, seeing as both are suffering on my end. I'm happy to say that my skin has improved since the horrendous past two years. Stress kills skin!

Lush basically hand-makes all its products i.e. it follows other ever-trendy "organic" cosmetics brands. At first, the idea that it was marketed as all natural and organic put me off. I can't help but find people and companies who hawk organic products to be somewhat elitist (this is after living in a part of Philly that only had Trader Joes, Whole Foods and similar stores in its vicinity); however, I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I actually like this stuff. Because it's environmentally as well, Lush uses minimum packaging; without purchasing the shampoo bar tin, I would be walking away with a bar of shampoo wrapped in brown paper.

Anyway, the two products I've been using from Lush are Herbalism cleanser for the face and New! shampoo. The cleanser is a grainy, solid, messy lump of green that is mostly made of vinegar (so the smell is a bit funky though I don't mind, it kind of reminds me of this delicious Indian snack made of rice and coconut) and rubs on like a scrub. I know I am possibly making this sound extremely unpleasant but it actually works to exfoliate the skin and make it soft. The Lush rep that sold it to me explained that this was a good cleanser for oily skin (me) that's prone to breaking out (also me). So far, I've been using it for two and a half weeks and I haven't had any crazy issues. Wonderful, considering how sensitive and reactionary my skin.

The shampoo is in a solid bar form, that is, it looks like soap. It's mostly made of cinnamon and clove, and you basically rub or swipe it in your hair. It lathers up pretty quickly, thus you don't need to use a whole lot of product. The bar was $9. It is a bit expensive but I am told that it lasts for months, and judging by how I'm using it, I can believe that. I bought this shampoo to address my thinning hair. It is advertised in this way:

"If you're losing your mane because of hormones or age, you could go out and buy a new toupee, but first try New shampoo and see if it doesn't do the trick"

Well I've been using it for a couple of weeks now, and I do like it. I notice my hair is falling out less. I'm hoping it can stimulate some hair growth and healthy follicles. The downfall is that it dries the hair out so investing in a good conditioner might not be a bad idea. My scalp gets oily pretty quickly so I don't mind it drying out; however, I am beginning to think that even I could use a conditioner because as it dries out, it does make the hair a bit coarser.

The sales rep also sent me home with a sample of tea tree water toner. This is different from the traditional tea tree oil that you could get at bath and body or the body shop. I have to say, I wish I purchased the tea tree water because that was potentially the best out of the three Lush products I tried. It made my skin not only feel really clean but I think it actually thoroughly cleansed. It also went on gently and I didn't have any rash-type side effects like I did with tea tree oil.

I bought these Lush products from the Macys in Menlo Park Mall. They also have a couple of locations in the city.

Bottom Line: Check this place out and ask for samples. You may find your processed self craving for detox immediately.

Now What

Life up until now was driven by academia. I am no longer required to be in school, but it seems my education has just begun.

I don't know where to go from here. I had a purpose before. I thought I would have a purpose now but the ball doesn't seem to be rolling. I want a purpose.

Admittedly, I missed several opportunities. I had so much free time on my hands, in between finding a job and studying for the MPRE. Everything I wanted to do when I had no time at all didn't come to fruition. I'm still unclear and frustrated as to why I didn't act upon time. I can't figure out if it was laziness, depression, anxiety or something else, or maybe all of the above. Why is it also that none of this free time has left me feeling relaxed and well-rested? Why instead do I feel guilt?

I am not old, but I feel like I've lived a century this past year.

I'm currently suffering from the flu. Maybe being sick also makes you feel old. Something about being weak and vulnerable.

This post is getting too heavy. I will return with the fluff shortly.

Matthew 7:24-25

My daily bible verse is so appropriate for the moment I am now experiencing.

God is GREAT!

Breaking In

I don't normally allow huge gaps of time between posts. Ironically, I have more time on my hands than ever before. Still, I can't seem to access the part of my brain that once desired writing about even the dullest drudgery that was my life as a student.

The last six months of my life can be described as that phase of adulthood that resists being an adult. May through July I was secluded. August, I detoxed. September was all about hustling for employment. It's like I was competing in a marathon and now have hit a brick wall and just can't seem to get over it. Because I am still anticipating an ending to a chapter I started more than three years ago, I feel stuck. Waiting is a killjoy.

While I can accept that certain things are out of my control, perhaps I am disappointed in myself for not nurturing what IS in my control. I hope whatever funk I'm experiencing ends....like tomorrow. GAH!

It's Been A While

My energy is drained. I feel that I have so much to write and share and yet have nowhere to begin.

SO here I am again posting an entry from another, far more insightful blogger than me.
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Don’t believe everything they tell you. Love is not blind, no matter how desperately we wish it would be. We pray others would not see our imperfections, insecurities, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, or those things that we hate about ourselves. We work tirelessly to construct facades that they may love; but we fail to realize that in doing so, they will never love us, but only the portrait that we have painted for them. For every time we hope, however faintly, that some other beauty that we hold would cause our imperfections to pale in comparison, that our loved ones would not notice them at all, we miss something truly incredible about love – something incredible about God.

There are many things that have overflowed from God’s creative genius – laughter, sexuality, rest, the pleasure of eating a good steak; but love is entirely different altogether. It wasn’t imagined by God – it is central to His being, inextricably bound to His very essence; and when I think about how He loves, He is not oblivious to the wretchedness of my heart; rather, He loves me in spite of it. What makes His love so incredible is not its ability to be blind, but its ability to see, and love anyway. It is gazing upon all that I have done, and all that I am through the eyes of grace, giving to me when I had nothing to give in return, and loving me knowing fully well that I will never be able to love Him the same. The fact that I have this kind of affection from God, when “the real me” is in plain sight before Him, is what makes His love so amazing – and so utterly baffling. You see, we will make many attempts at love; but as long as we keep our eyes closed, we will never really see the person we love for who they are. For if our love is to mean anything at all, we must love with our eyes wide open.
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arghargor

aorigoarigonoi
oaerignoeirn
oeirngioerneng
!!!!!!!!!

God Bless MJ

I cannot believe he's gone.

The two most memorable musical moments of my life were the first time I heard Mariah's voice and saw Michael PERFORM.

I feel like a part of childhood has passed on with him. I've always felt that he was always mistreated and misunderstood by so many people. How sad it is that it's only on his death that people truly recognize not only what an amazing artist he was but his philanthropy and ability to bridge racial gaps in music and media in general. Our culture won't ever be the same without him. I think his legacy remains in these lyrics:

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change.

Self Diagnosis

Do you have....

Lack of pleasure in everyday life,
diminished ability to initiate and sustain planned activity,
speaking infrequently, even when forced to interact,
neglect basic hygiene

Do you harbor...

poor "executive functioning" (the ability to absorb and interpret information and make decisions based on that information),
inability to sustain attention, and
problems with "working memory" (the ability to keep recently learned information in mind and use it right away)

?

Then you may have schizophrenia [say the ferry ads]

Funny how Bar Review causes the same symptoms.

Give yourself an Edge in the Market

Sepia Mutiny sometimes features columns by humorist Melvin Durai. I happened on the following while browsing his blog and it gave me a good laugh. Enjoy!
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These are tough economic times in America and elsewhere. If you're like me, you're saving money any way you can. I've cancelled my cable, invested in a good pair of binoculars and started watching my neighbor’s TV. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

In this harsh economic climate, it's important to have a job, any job. But finding a job isn't easy, especially since so many companies are giving their employees –- even the male ones –- pink slips. Competition for jobs is so intense that chess champ Vishwanathan Anand has been flooded with applications, all because someone wrote that he has “good openings.”

With all the competition, it's vital for job seekers to give themselves an edge. That's why I've decided to offer a few tips to help people stand out from the crowd. Some of these tips may seem obvious, but, trust me, they're often overlooked.

Tip #1: Learn to speak English. When the economy was strong, some folks were able to find decent jobs in America by knowing just three words of English: "Me want job." Others, realizing the importance of grammar, tried a little harder: "Me wants job."

These days, three words of English aren't enough to secure a job in any
part of America outside Miami. Job seekers must learn at least six words, particularly these six: "Would you like fries with that?"

They may seem like easy words, but some immigrants really struggle with them. A few have been fired from fast-food restaurants for repeatedly asking customers, "Would you like flies with that?"

The restaurants, as you can imagine, received many customer complaints, such as the one from a West Virginia man who threw his meal at the manager, shouting: “I thought I was getting flies with my burger, not fries."

Tip #2: Go easy on the tattoos and body piercing. Two or three are OK, but when your entire body is green, the only people you’re likely to impress are environmentalists. Well, perhaps a few others too, but they probably won’t offer you a job, unless one of them is a farmer and, with planting season coming around, needs another scarecrow.

(Yes, I know: some tattoos are works of art. In fact, Leonardo Da Vinci first tattooed the Mona Lisa on a friend's backside. Unfortunately nipple rings weren’t common in those days, so he couldn’t hang his friend in a gallery.)

Tip #3: Put your best foot forward at the job interview. This can be hard, especially if your feet look the same. Your friends can probably help you figure out which foot is better, but if you’re still unsure, consult a podiatrist.

Tip #4: Dress for success. Too many people, unfortunately, dress for failure. Don’t expect Chase Bank to hire you if you’re wearing a T-shirt that says “Go bonkers!” The least you can do is change the second ‘o’ to an ‘a.’

Tip #5: Groom yourself well. If you're a man, it's probably a good idea to trim your nails, mustache and any unruly locks of nose hair. If you're a woman, resist the temptation to dye your hair orange –- unless you’re applying for a job as a traffic cone.

Tip #6: Try to smell good. The most important thing you can do to smell good is take a bath, even if you’ve already taken one this year. You can practice water conservation AFTER the interview. A little perfume or cologne would also help, but don’t empty the bottle, unless you want to spend your day reviving the interviewer.

Tip #7: Do some research. Employers are impressed when you know something about them. You might want to find out, for example, what they do. Don't ask the manager of Cracker Barrel how heavy the barrels are. And don't ask the recruiter at Samsung what exactly it was that Sam sung.

Tip #8: Don't do drugs. Most employers test for drugs and if you fail the test, you won't get a second chance, unless you're in the National Football League. If you like to get high several times a week, apply for a job as a flight attendant. It's safer and it won't deplete your bank account. Just be careful how you greet the passengers: “Good morning! Hope you have a good fright!”

Jeepers Creepers jumpin Jeepers...It's Spring!!!

We own a collection of silly old cartoons (like 1930s old) on VHS and every once in a while, I'll remember a phrase from one of the little episodes in these cartoons. Hence, the post title.

Creepy, crawly things do come out during spring. After cleaning my room for four hours the other week, I felt comfortable that unwelcome visitors could not enter through any dusty crevices, gaps in the walls or open windows. I was wrong.

Two days ago, I was working at my desk on a draft for my independent study when I got up to stretch and saw a medium sized brown spider on my ceiling. I mean right smack in the MIDDLE of my room ceiling. Not wanting to panic, I did the usual five minute stare at the insect, simultaneously shocked and hopeful it would scurry off and disappear into whatever ceiling crack it came through. Naturally, it must have felt my eyes glued to it that it sat there frozen. Did I mention I am terrified of bugs?

I thought about what to do. It was 11am at that time, and extremely warm outside. After staring at it, I walked in and out of my room, peeked in a few times, and tried to decide whether or not I could kill it and how. So I went to the kitchen, grabbed a broom, brought it back and once again, stared. Sweating and standing several feet away, I started waving the brush end of the broom at the spider. He/She didn't flinch. I put the broom down and thought, "You know what, this spider isn't bugging me. I should just let it be and continue studying." So I did. For about 10 minutes.

My next weapon was the vacuum. Needless to say, that failed.

I sprayed Lysol at it, flailed my arms like an idiot around it, uttered threatening words at it like it would understand. Nothing worked.

Two hours later, I manned (womaned?) up and confronted the spider with the broom again. With a quivering hand, I slowly approached the body of it and whacked it within an inch of its life. When it hit the floor I kept whacking until I couldn't even determine if there was a spider on the floor. It blended into my stupid coffee-colored carpet!! The vacuum came in handy at that point...

Over the years I've become more sympathetic and less fearful of animals but I've never been able to warm up to insects. My roommate in my sophomore year of college was Jain, and no matter what bug appeared in our dorm room, she would never kill it. Instead, she picked it up and let it free into the wilderness (seriously, that is an accurate description of my college campus). Oh how I wish I had the courage. As much as I love the warmer weather, I can certainly do without the pests that love it too.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Lately, I've come across several names that have tickled my funny bone.

At the legal clinic, clients call in with all sorts of strange issues and legal quandaries. Their problems are sometimes humorously enhanced by their names. Take these two encounters, for example:
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RING RING. RING RING.
Me: Good morning, Legal Clinic.
Caller: Ah, yes hello. I'm having an issue with my landlord.
Me: Ok sir, what is your name?
Caller: Charles.
Me: And your last name?
Caller: Dickens.
Me: Pardon?
Caller: Charles Dickens.
Me: *slight giggle and stutter* Uh, oh, ok.
Caller: YEAH. And let me tell you chile' my life is like a tale of two cities!

We both erupt into laughter. He then proceeds to tell me his landlord is trying to evict him. SIGH.


RING RING. RING RING.
Me: Good afternoon, Legal Clinic.
Caller: Yes, hello this is Curtis ______, calling for G.
Me: Hi, Curtis. I hope you received the will that I drafted for you.
Caller: Yes, I did. I was hoping you could add something.
Me: Sure.
Caller: I'd like to devise my entire estate into equal shares for my three sisters.
Me: Ok. Can I get their names?
Caller: Blossom, Bambi, and Boo-Boo.
Me: Pause. How do you spell Boo-Boo?
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It took me a long time to accept and like my name. I hated when people mispronounced it, and being the serious and paranoid child that I was, couldn't take any form of teasing lightly. Guinea, Jenny, Jeanie, Gina, Janine (yeah WTF?). Who knew four simple letters could cause so much trouble and embarrassment. On top of that, I had a very foreign last name to pretty much anybody I encountered that was not Malayalee.

Despite my dislike for my name growing up, I always corrected people when they made a mistake. In college, I even snapped at a professor ("There is no 'A' in my name.") for mangling it into what sounded like "Genina."

I also tend to tell people whose names get mispronounced to never back down and always correct it. No matter how you feel about it, it's the most powerful way you can show self-respect. It's funny how a four-letter word can teach you that.

Pause.

Sometimes, I can be a big hypocrite. I struggle with people who call themselves "Christian" and then deny their faith by their lifestyle, particularly when it comes to drinking, cursing and "hooking up" excessively (among other things). But I fail to realize how often I behave in contradiction to my faith. My acts are simply manifested in different ways.

Whenever I'm about to pass judgment on someone, I will think of this post by a fellow blogger.
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It is the secret that we were never intended to keep. In fact, it ought to be so painfully obvious that it is hardly even worth calling a secret. However, that is precisely what it has become. While the universe in all of its infinitude could not contain God, He has done something so audacious, so unbelievable, and so incredible – He has found a way to live in you and me. This is the miracle that Heaven sings, that creation applauds, that angels cannot fathom; and yet it has gone tragically unnoticed. Somehow, we have found a way to silence the wonder of Heaven. While this world continues to breathe its last breath, we will quietly carry within us the Life that gives life; and we will never stop to notice.

This marvelous truth, the fact that God has not only bridged the chasm that separated us, but has actually made a way to live in us, is what this world desperately needs to hear. Unfortunately, we often fear that if this truth becomes too obvious, if we pursue holiness, and become passionate lovers of God, we will alienate an unbelieving world. However, the life of Jesus screams against this misconception. Indeed, it was the holiest man of all the earth that thieves, tax collectors, and prostitutes were drawn to. It was the man who was most reckless in His affection for God that sinners found irresistible. You see, while we assume that the presence of God will be foreign to our peers, co-workers, and neighbors, we fail to remember that they were made for His presence. If there is ever a moment when they will come alive, it is when they stand in His presence; but they no longer have to search the heavens to find Him; for, if we are willing to share our “secret,” they will find Him living in you and me.
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Christos Anesti!

Today marks the most sacred and holy of days for Christian believers. In fact, it is the pinnacle and centerpiece of our faith. In the muted solemnness of Passion Week, where as a collective we attempt to experience and meditate upon Christ's suffering, we sometimes lose sight of the great news of his Resurrection that awaits us. When I reflect upon what the risen Lord means to me, I think of three things: rebirth, renewal and resolution.

On Easter, I am reminded that I am reborn in Christ through the Holy Spirit. No matter how many times I screw up or stray from leading a life of love, God is always ready to give me a second chance, always eager for me to seek his mercy and be born again in Him.

I am renewed by the great promise He uttered to his disciples to qualm their fears about the persecution and hatred they would face for their steadfast belief in Him. His promise extends to me, too. It was made to reassure me that despite all the challenges, hurdles, humiliation, loss, disappointments and pain life will bring, I can take heart, for He has overcome the world. ~John 16:33. He overcame it for me.

The raised cross in the sanctuary that I will gaze upon in worship will recommit me to the faith that I sometimes struggle to wear on my sleeve. I must resolve to act with love, patience, grace, humility, discipline and compassion - inwardly and outwardly - just as Christ did for my sake.


Christ is risen!
Truly, He is risen!

April Anniversary

Happy Birthday, Blog!

Ok not quite. 29 days early. But I was getting bored of the background. I'm not sure if I like this one. Still testing the waters.

I don't know how to assemble my thoughts these days.

Passing.

A classmate of mine lost her battle with cancer over the weekend. I wrote about her once before. Please pray for her soul and her loved ones.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. ~II Timothy 4: 7-8

Is this real life?

I...

is lost.

Desi Sweep

Slumdog's win(s), while monumental, seems to have overshadowed the success of two other films originating from India.

Smile Pinki and The Final Inch were both nominated in the Best Documentary Short Subject category, with Smile Pinki garnering the prize. Both films are extremely poignant and inspirational. And that's from viewing the trailers alone! I'm going to have to figure out where to watch these short films. There aren't enough theaters promoting them.

Watching the Oscars last night reminded me of another time in my life where I felt this rare pride and connection to India - rare because it wasn't elicited from my parents' stories or our trips to Kerala - but from this never-spoken but understood awareness of my heritage. It was when Sushmita Sen won the Ms. Universe pageant back in 1994. She was the consummate ethnic underdog. OH the YELPS and SQUEALING my parents endured that night.

I came close to feeling that yesterday. I guess I was so overwhelmed by all the Indian films nominated that my enthusiasm numbed. Nevertheless, 2009 is beginning to feel like the year of the crossover.

A full list of nominees and winners here.

Soundtrack to My Life

Almost as stupid as the 25 random facts thing.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE

Here goes...

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

Opening Credits:
Mine Again (Mariah)

Waking Up:
How does She Know you Love Her (from the movie Enchanted. Well of course my movie's going to be a fairy tale!)

First Day at School:
All I want for Christmas Remix (Lil'Bow & Mariah. Um...I do love Christmas!)

Falling in Love:
Something Good (From The Sound of Music. That scene where Fraulein Maria and the Capt'n fall in love?! I kid you not!)

Fight Song:
Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice. HAHAHAHAH oh yeah this is REAL *badass*)

Breaking Up:
Single Ladies (Beyonce. OMG that is freaky.)

Prom:
Open Spaces (Instrumental from the movie "There Will be Blood." Is it just me or does this invoke a "Carrie" moment?)

Mental Breakdown:
Spiderman Theme (The Michael Buble/big band version. Peter Parker and I on the same wavelength. HAHAHHAHAHAH)

Driving:
Livin' La Vida Loca (Ricky Martin. I must admit this is the kind of tempo I need while driving!)

Flashback:
If It's Over (Mariah. Ok yes I know I have way too much of her...can't help it!)

Getting Back Together:
In the Morning (Mary Mary. A Gospel Tune? I guess that's appropriate. Hallelujah we're back together again!)

Wedding:
Smooth Criminal (Alien Ant Farm. Oh DEAR.)

Birth of Child:
Buddy Holly (Weezer. What the hell? Big milestones in my life will feature music by Alien Ant Farm and Weezer. Wow.)

Final Battle:
Breakable (Ingrid Michaelson. This seems more of a Flashback song. But I suppose it's melancholy enough for a final battle)

Death Scene:
Le Freak (Chic. I take my last breath on earth to a disco song. PERFECT!)

This was actually fun and ridonkulous! Ok...back to work again =/

Being Nostradamus

I don't know if I can classify this story as a dream or a nightmare. I relayed it to Shirl who is probably still peeing in her pants from laughter and suggested I blog about it.

Last night I dreamt that I was living at my uncle's house, a house he lived in several years ago. This is an uncle I would NEVER live with. Somehow I ended up walking to the local Subway (as in the sandwich chain). The Subway looked like a bar/lounge but the people behind the counter were still dressed as Subway sandwich makers/cashiers. I ordered six turkey subs, but the guy who took my order ignored it. Instead he started hitting on me. He pulled out six foot-long wheat breads but never bothered to actually make the sandwich. For some reason, I still paid for the sandwiches and then after fifteen minutes, decided to forget the sandwiches and leave.

I started walking back to my uncle's house and felt someone was following me. I looked back and it was the subway guy! I picked up my pace and when he started doing the same, I turned around and shouted...

"Stop following me!"

Subway guy: "I'm not!"

Me: "Then why are you behind me?!"

Subway guy: "I live around the corner."

Me: *gulp*

After that encounter, a day seems to have passed in my dream (you didn't hear about this part, Shirl) and the next morning I hear the bell ring. When I open the door, it's the subway guy again. With my six sandwiches.

Subway guy: "I have your sandwiches."

Me: "I don't want them!"

And then I woke up.

I told my friend *Teddy* this dream and she, being the soothsayer she is, attempted to unravel it for me. The following is paraphrased.

"Gin, the six sandwiches are a good thing. They represent nourishment. You'll never starve! (me: duh! i don't think my appetite would allow me to). But the incident with the subway guy probably goes more to your insecurities about marriage. You are internalizing your want or your mother's want for you to be in a relationship. (me: HA!) Someone will pursue you but you'll probably reject him. And you're living at your uncle's house because you're trying to compromise your family's wishes with what you want."

Oh Teddy I think it's all a bunch of hooey.

Ok reader(s).... tear it apart. All interpretations are welcome.

The Phantom Lawyer

There are many characters in our office. Mostly the clients, but sometimes the lawyers themselves. There's

"Abby" - our director. Sweet and charming to infinity! Has owned over 50 pets in her 50+ years. She doesn't mind being called a cat lady. Or maybe THE cat lady. Sometimes I cannot believe she worked as a public defender for almost thirty years.

"Raina" - the managing attorney. Also sweet, but a lil' more hardened due to her extensive career as a social worker. She's half-mexican and half-jewish. WHAT? Yeah, that's what I said. She laments her lack of latin street cred since she cannot speak Spanish. Raina adopted a baby girl from China years ago with her partner. Said daughter is starting high-school soon, hence this topic is on replay during convos with Raina.

"Brady" - the staff attorney, who still looks like a teenager. The sole male lawyer (next to "Randy" whose brief description is forthcoming) in the office that mostly keeps to himself but isn't unfriendly. He enjoys rock-climbing, traveling to South America and his pet iguana. I discovered all of this when we went out to an office lunch the other day. Several months from now, on another lunch outing, I'm certain he'll reveal he's leaving the law and planning an expedition to Mount Everest. With his pet iguana in tow.

"Pam" - only a couple of years elder to me but she's pretty good at displaying her legal knowledge. Pam is nice, and mostly quiet except when you ask her a question. Once that occurs, it isn't a bad idea to prepare for the LONGEST-WINDED ANSWER YOU'LL EVER GET. I don't mean to offend, but it's somewhat difficult to navigate out of a conversation with her. For example, I may ask her a quick question about child custody, and she'll begin responding with a heavy sigh, an experience she had with another legal agency she worked with, her mother's second cousin's stepson's guardianship hearing, the alphabet soup she ate the night before, and THEN the answer to the question. Mind you, I'll have a client on hold the entire time. She's devoted to her work though.

"Randy" - our part-time attorney. Comes in at 7 leaves at 2. Cancer-survivor. Nice guy.

"Akiva" - Our volunteer attorney, I dread Akiva's visits. I think she's sincere deep down but she comes off condescending. The first time I did intake with her she asked me if I knew what the word "incompetent" meant. She also whispers these things, as if nobody in our 10X10 office can't hear her. Akiva loves Israel. LOVES LOVES LOVES Israel. She can't wait to go back. This sentiment is expressed every time I see her. I suspect she thinks I'm Hindu or Muslim. I suspect this because she didn't understand how the Catholic Church worked after reading an article on the Pope and assumed I didn't since I was in her words "neither Catholic or Christian." I was wearing my cross necklace that day. She means well, right?

"Andy" - our part-time paralegal. Sweet guy. Andy's stuck with tedious tasks that nobody wants to do, like alphabetizing our fundraising donor list.

"Richard" - our three-week intern from Harvard Law. Painfully quiet but very cordial. I managed to find out he's engaged. His fiance is a librarian.

"Sam" - our part-time paralegal/law-clerk/tech guru. Sam is quadriplegic. The daredevil injured himself several years ago after falling off his mountain bike while riding. He's in law school now. I've met him twice and I'm pretty sure he must be claustrophobic of our tiny office and [possibly] Akiva.

And then there's Tom, the phantom lawyer. The only name here that is real. He used to be the executive director of our clinic, but left for New Mexico and a new wife before I showed up. Tom's name comes up so frequently that I believe I know him better than some relatives. At times, it feels like the office is grieving his loss. Case in point:

Abby: Hey Brady, can you make some coffee please?
Brady: Sure.
Abby: Tom used to make the best coffee. *sigh*

Pam: I can't believe these files are missing.
Raina: I thought I organized this section years ago.
Pam: Oh wait, here they are. Tom must have stashed them secretly for a reason.

I wouldn't be surprised if each member of our team had a big ol' crush on Tom since I've never seen a group of people speak about a former employee with such affection. And it's not just our staff. With the ten clients I speak to on average per day, at least three mention his name and how wonderfully helpful he was. Apparently, the man's philanthropic heart was open to handling unnecessary cases. At our staff meeting before Christmas, Abby passed around the holiday card he sent featuring his new baby and his dog ( Abby, of course, cooed over the dog and not the baby) and everyone was just gushing. I couldn't help but smile.

I hope I can impact a person or group of people the way Tom has. Imagine how gratifying it must be to feel that others are so appreciative of your work! Lawyers get such a rap for being sniveling and greedy. It's nice to know that there are people like him and like the other lawyers at the clinic who haven't lost their goodwill in the muddle of this profession. They remind me of why I'm in this other world in the first place. And that is incredibly refreshing.

"Oh Happy Day!"

It's how one oncoming passenger to our apartment shuttle greeted our bus driver. The passenger was White, the Bus Driver, Black. They shook hands.

I can't help notice the ear-to-ear smiles on so many faces today. I can't help feeling the tug of history as I watch the new President and his family take the oath of office.

All I can say is, what a momentous occasion we've witnessed! And in the words of Rev. Joseph Lowery:

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen. Amen. AMEN!

Bored

I'm watching the golden globes and felt like celebrity collaging myself. I'm not so sure these results are accurate but Amanda Peet & Rachel Bilson keep popping up repeatedly.

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph