a fine balance

Happy New Year!

2011-01-16T15:39:00.002-05:00

Woooo it's been several months since I last posted and here we are in 2011! So much has happened in 2010. I can't believe we're in a new decade! Remember when Y2K was a hot mess? Civilization was supposed to end? Apparently, 2012 is the new Y2K!

I am looking forward to this new year. I have learned a lot about myself and others in the past year and feel fortunate to exist in 2011. One of my resolutions is to blog more. When I had little time in school, all I could do was babble my thoughts. Now that I'm working, I don't necessarily have more time but I see and experience things that are definitely blogworthy but am lazy about putting to the page.

So here's to the new year and more writing!

5K Homerun!

2010-09-05T22:06:00.005-04:00

So I finished my first 5K race! It felt great! The weather was perfect, governor's island was perfect, everything went well!

My only goal was to finish without walking and I accomplished that. I didn't know what to expect time-wise but I ended up finishing the 3.1 miles without pausing for a stroll! It was a wonderful feeling crossing that finish line. I look forward to the next race. Part of this whole lifestyle/exercise deal is to challenge myself so I suppose the thing to work on now is getting faster and shaving off some time in my run.

Never thought I'd say it but I think I've been bitten by the running bug!

Worker's World, Runner's World

2010-08-21T00:59:00.004-04:00

It's been about four months since I last posted. Longest gap for my blog, ever.

During this hiatus, I've actually achieved a goal on that pseudo-bucket list I posted previously. I can't say that I am a runner, but I am officially running. My first 5K will be in September. I have a huge concern though - I haven't run the 3.1 miles outside yet! Cross-training and treadmill-running is one thing, but I know that running outdoors will be a challenge. I don't know why, but I'm slightly nervous about running outside. There's a part of me that is still not confident with what I'm able to do. I guess I will have to muster the courage to just do it!

It's amazing how God places certain events in your life, because He knows something bigger is around the corner. I think that if I hadn't started running or taking care of my health, this job that I am very grateful to have wouldn't have come my way. It's like He prepped me for it. I am positive my functionality at work and ability to get things done is directly correlated with improving my health.

So I'm experiencing somewhat of a full circle moment. The title of this blog has taken on a significant meaning in my life. Straddling work life with a lifestyle is a challenge but I am happy for the opportunity to balance the two. Growing up (or is it, coming of age?) isn't so bad sometimes.

Total Living

2010-04-25T20:58:00.007-04:00

I used to think that living a regimented life meant boredom - wayward would go vision and creativity. I have found that with growing up, routine is necessary, and surprisingly, I don't mind it. Even with the current flexibility in my schedule, I am slowly gravitating towards doing things at specified hours of the day. This has been going on for less than a month so I don't know if its some phase I'm experiencing or a way of living I can keep up with. I hope it is the latter. I find myself more disciplined and focused. Negatives are replaced with positive reinforcements. My emotions are slightly more in control. I am not listless.

It is not an easy lifestyle to maintain but nothing great is accomplished easily. Yesterday, I met a woman who created a bucket list of things she wanted to do before turning 30. I've heard of people doing this before but couldn't bring myself to do something similar out of fear of failure. Incidentally, the goals I achieved in life were usually things I wrote down or vocalized.

So after speaking with this acquaintance, I started thinking about what I would include on my bucket list before I hit the big 30:

1. Run a 5K
2. Visit New Zealand
3. Learn how to swim
4. Get published in something, be it a journal, newspaper etc

I guess that's a start. They seem like tangible, realistic goals. And because they are goals, they give you direction and purpose. They place you on a routine. Maybe the reason why the bucket list works is that the goals are like promises to yourself, and who wants to break a promise?

If you are reading this, what would be the items on your list?

Invisible

2010-03-26T20:08:00.015-04:00

Pick me! Pick me!

I was pondering upon some of the miracles of Christ, specifically the times where He stopped in His tracks and physically touched people. Christ was always so keen when interacting with others. There was nothing random about the people He selected to heal, or the parables He used to make a point.
_________________________________________________
Luke 13: 10-17
Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues on a Sabbath, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her:
"Woman, you are set free from your infirmity."
Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.

John 9: 1-7
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him,
"Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes.

"Go," he told him, "wash in the Pool of Siloam" (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.
___________________________________________________

Why did He choose them? They didn't seek Him, but He found them. And when He touched them, it didn't just affect the surface of their skin and their physical infirmities. It reached out like a claw and clung to their souls so that the inevitable result was a total mind-body-spirit transformation.

As fortunate as I am to be living and doing the things I do, I see myself quite frequently as the crippled woman and the blind man; on the sidelines, going about another ordinary day, waiting to be noticed. It's easy to feel invisible by family, friends, supervisors, strangers you're crushing on (the list goes on). It's even worse when you are making an effort to be recognized. For example, for months, I have searched for full-time employment. While the market is not in my control, I still believed my background would help me find something meaningful. Watching others nab jobs started making me feel more and more insecure about myself. Just when I was completely hopeless, a legal services organization that I was excited about and applied to (but didn't raise my hopes with) contacted me about volunteering for them. I felt relieved for so many reasons. Although it is on a volunteering basis, some positive feedback from one of the attorneys made me feel the appreciation I was longing for, and made me hopeful for what could be in store ahead.

My work example could be applied to many areas of my life. But I would like to relish in the moment, and to believe that with patience, good things can happen.To be plucked from obscurity and noticed when you least expect but most desire it is an incredible feeling. It is comforting to know that no matter how overlooked I am, or how much I may overlook Him, the Great Invisible will always have my back.

Snow Daze

2010-02-26T22:48:00.006-05:00

March approaches, yet winter's ugly head appears uglier.

I can't believe how much snow we've gotten within a span of 3 months. So much so that NYC was compelled to close public schools twice within a month. Traveling through the city mess was extremely unpleasant. I stayed with T in Harlem yesterday and the scariest part of our trek home was walking down the steep, slushy hill to Broadway. A normally 10 minute walk doubled to 20 with the icy conditions.

I remember the excitement of getting a snow day. Back when we were in school, it was a RARE treat to wake up early and catch radio or tv announcing a school closing. Most of the time, NYC kept schools open during major snowstorms. I think we may have prided ourselves on the fact that we would courageously make it to school unlike our NJ counterparts, who shut down at the mere forecast of flurries. Ah, character building.

I must have been twelve or thirteen when probably the biggest blizzard I could remember kept us indoors for two whole days. When the snow stopped and my parents tried to open our garage, we were barricaded by over two feet of snow, possibly more due to the drift. The snow was so high, we were basically stepping into a snow coffin.

Today I thought about how we managed without our convenient snow blower. Granted, we still use our shovels but once a foot hits the ground, we pull out the Craftsman.

What did we even do on our snow days? Watch tv probably. That was really all there was to worry about anyway at that age. If only it were that simple now.

Quotables

2010-01-09T19:00:00.003-05:00

There is a little Church by my house that features really simple, yet thought-provoking sayings on their outdoor bulletin. They are so clever that I look forward to driving by the Church just to see what the month's new message is.

And to preserve them in my memory, for the new year, here are some of my favorites:

"Does your life shed light, or cast shadows?"

"If you were on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"

"Wise men STILL seek him." This month's phrase. The cleverness of this one is that the Epiphany, the day where many commemorate the arrival of the Wise Men to Bethlehem, is on January 7th.

In other news, the weekend went swell. The girls came over for my "Bar Party." Passing the bar wouldn't have been possible without the support and encouragement of family and friends. Very grateful. And no better way to celebrate then with a good ol' sleepover! Although next time we celebrate a milestone, I hope we can muster up some more energy. We are not old and as they say, age is nothing but a number.

Gossip

2009-11-30T15:38:00.004-05:00

An interesting passage from the play "Doubt: A Parable" by John Patrick Shanley. The character who recites it is a Catholic Priest who is suspected by a head Nun of committing lewd acts towards a child. At the end of the play, the audience is left to figure out whether we believe him or the Nun. The following is his sermon. I thought the metaphor he used captured how uncontrollable and destructive rumors can be.
______________________________________________

A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man she hardly knew - I know none of you have ever done this - that night she had a dream. A great hand appeared over her and pointed down at her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O’Rourke, and she told him the whole thing.

‘Is gossiping a sin?’ she asked the old man. ‘Was that the hand of God Almighty pointing a finger at me? Should I be asking your absolution? Father, tell me, have I done something wrong?’

(Irish Brogue)
‘Yes!’ Father O’Rourke answered her. ‘Yes, you ignorant, badly broughtup female! You have borne false witness against your neighbor, you have played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed!’

So the woman said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness.

‘Not so fast!’ says O’Rourke. ‘I want you to go home, take a pillow up on your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me!’

So the woman went home, took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to the roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed.

‘Did you gut the pillow with the knife?’ he says.

‘Yes, Father.’

‘And what was the result?’

‘Feathers,’ she said.

‘Feathers?’ he repeated.

‘Feathers everywhere, Father!’

‘Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind!’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘it can’t be done. I don’t know where they went. The wind took them all over.’

‘And that,’ said Father O’Rourke, ‘is GOSSIP!’

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen.

Precious

2009-11-26T00:43:00.011-05:00

It's almost 1am on the morning of Thanksgiving 2009. I can't sleep, so I thought writing would possibly induce it.

I recently saw the movie Precious. I read the novel it was based on (Push) over a year ago and was kind of psyched to see how a filmmaker could transpose such a heavy, emotionally charged book to the silver screen. Needless to say, I was really moved and happy that the movie did the book justice.

Push deals with so much crazy. The issues it tackles range from rape to incest to obesity to mental illness to HIV, all set against the backdrop of Harlem in 1987. The film is way less graphic than the book. While the themes explored can easily be geared towards the Black American community, the story is actually quite universal. It raises a mirror that reflects so much of society's ills that are often ignored and swept under the rug -- only to occasionally appear on the evening news or Oprah. Without spoiling it for anyone, all I can say after seeing the movie is I have nothing to complain about. NOTHING. As bleak as the main character's life was, she still maintained a sense of hope. One must always remember that.

So anyway, like I said, it is Thanksgiving. Happy Turkey Day! There is much to be thankful for this year! We are hosting it at our house. Growing up, most Thanksgivings were held at our house. My enthusiasm for family gatherings has waned over the years. I'm not sure if it's me or everyone else. Of course the easy thing to say is, it's everyone else. There have been moments that have really disappointed me. Those moments continue to make me wonder whether others value relationships the same way I do. All part of growing pains, I suppose. One blogger summed it up better than I could:
_________________________________________________
I hope my generation and the ones that follow will not lose old school morals. I hope they still hold a place today, because I know I'm trying to cling on to them. Helping your neighbor, being loyal and just thinking past yourself. It's scary when you can't trust someone you thought you knew. Pulling the wool out of your eyes and all that. I guess it's a part of growing up, but that also makes me sad. Someone told me I was 12 years old going on 45. I think there may be some truth in that even though I said "eww" when told this. Maybe I want to capture how in harmony things were when I was 12 years old. I know everything wasn't perfect back then, but it felt less scary. It's weird that I'm starting to become the narrator in the Wonder Years- the older brown girl version of Kevin Arnold.
_________________________________________________

I'm considering privatizing this blog. If you happen to come upon it one day and realize you must request to read it, please don't hesitate to ask. I think perhaps I will need to take my writing to another level. I doubt many read this anyway.

Looks like it's done the trick. Good night~~

Lush

2009-11-21T15:44:00.005-05:00

I've recently taken to a skin-care line called Lush. Since I've had time on my hands, I can't resist researching and watching videos on recommended products for hair and skin, seeing as both are suffering on my end. I'm happy to say that my skin has improved since the horrendous past two years. Stress kills skin!

Lush basically hand-makes all its products i.e. it follows other ever-trendy "organic" cosmetics brands. At first, the idea that it was marketed as all natural and organic put me off. I can't help but find people and companies who hawk organic products to be somewhat elitist (this is after living in a part of Philly that only had Trader Joes, Whole Foods and similar stores in its vicinity); however, I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I actually like this stuff. Because it's environmentally as well, Lush uses minimum packaging; without purchasing the shampoo bar tin, I would be walking away with a bar of shampoo wrapped in brown paper.

Anyway, the two products I've been using from Lush are Herbalism cleanser for the face and New! shampoo. The cleanser is a grainy, solid, messy lump of green that is mostly made of vinegar (so the smell is a bit funky though I don't mind, it kind of reminds me of this delicious Indian snack made of rice and coconut) and rubs on like a scrub. I know I am possibly making this sound extremely unpleasant but it actually works to exfoliate the skin and make it soft. The Lush rep that sold it to me explained that this was a good cleanser for oily skin (me) that's prone to breaking out (also me). So far, I've been using it for two and a half weeks and I haven't had any crazy issues. Wonderful, considering how sensitive and reactionary my skin.

The shampoo is in a solid bar form, that is, it looks like soap. It's mostly made of cinnamon and clove, and you basically rub or swipe it in your hair. It lathers up pretty quickly, thus you don't need to use a whole lot of product. The bar was $9. It is a bit expensive but I am told that it lasts for months, and judging by how I'm using it, I can believe that. I bought this shampoo to address my thinning hair. It is advertised in this way:

"If you're losing your mane because of hormones or age, you could go out and buy a new toupee, but first try New shampoo and see if it doesn't do the trick"

Well I've been using it for a couple of weeks now, and I do like it. I notice my hair is falling out less. I'm hoping it can stimulate some hair growth and healthy follicles. The downfall is that it dries the hair out so investing in a good conditioner might not be a bad idea. My scalp gets oily pretty quickly so I don't mind it drying out; however, I am beginning to think that even I could use a conditioner because as it dries out, it does make the hair a bit coarser.

The sales rep also sent me home with a sample of tea tree water toner. This is different from the traditional tea tree oil that you could get at bath and body or the body shop. I have to say, I wish I purchased the tea tree water because that was potentially the best out of the three Lush products I tried. It made my skin not only feel really clean but I think it actually thoroughly cleansed. It also went on gently and I didn't have any rash-type side effects like I did with tea tree oil.

I bought these Lush products from the Macys in Menlo Park Mall. They also have a couple of locations in the city.

Bottom Line: Check this place out and ask for samples. You may find your processed self craving for detox immediately.

Now What

2009-11-12T22:04:00.003-05:00

Life up until now was driven by academia. I am no longer required to be in school, but it seems my education has just begun.

I don't know where to go from here. I had a purpose before. I thought I would have a purpose now but the ball doesn't seem to be rolling. I want a purpose.

Admittedly, I missed several opportunities. I had so much free time on my hands, in between finding a job and studying for the MPRE. Everything I wanted to do when I had no time at all didn't come to fruition. I'm still unclear and frustrated as to why I didn't act upon time. I can't figure out if it was laziness, depression, anxiety or something else, or maybe all of the above. Why is it also that none of this free time has left me feeling relaxed and well-rested? Why instead do I feel guilt?

I am not old, but I feel like I've lived a century this past year.

I'm currently suffering from the flu. Maybe being sick also makes you feel old. Something about being weak and vulnerable.

This post is getting too heavy. I will return with the fluff shortly.

Matthew 7:24-25

2009-11-05T12:42:00.002-05:00

My daily bible verse is so appropriate for the moment I am now experiencing.

God is GREAT!

Breaking In

2009-10-03T22:49:00.007-04:00

I don't normally allow huge gaps of time between posts. Ironically, I have more time on my hands than ever before. Still, I can't seem to access the part of my brain that once desired writing about even the dullest drudgery that was my life as a student.

The last six months of my life can be described as that phase of adulthood that resists being an adult. May through July I was secluded. August, I detoxed. September was all about hustling for employment. It's like I was competing in a marathon and now have hit a brick wall and just can't seem to get over it. Because I am still anticipating an ending to a chapter I started more than three years ago, I feel stuck. Waiting is a killjoy.

While I can accept that certain things are out of my control, perhaps I am disappointed in myself for not nurturing what IS in my control. I hope whatever funk I'm experiencing ends....like tomorrow. GAH!

It's Been A While

2009-08-13T21:53:00.004-04:00

My energy is drained. I feel that I have so much to write and share and yet have nowhere to begin.

SO here I am again posting an entry from another, far more insightful blogger than me.
_________________________________________________

Don’t believe everything they tell you. Love is not blind, no matter how desperately we wish it would be. We pray others would not see our imperfections, insecurities, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, or those things that we hate about ourselves. We work tirelessly to construct facades that they may love; but we fail to realize that in doing so, they will never love us, but only the portrait that we have painted for them. For every time we hope, however faintly, that some other beauty that we hold would cause our imperfections to pale in comparison, that our loved ones would not notice them at all, we miss something truly incredible about love – something incredible about God.

There are many things that have overflowed from God’s creative genius – laughter, sexuality, rest, the pleasure of eating a good steak; but love is entirely different altogether. It wasn’t imagined by God – it is central to His being, inextricably bound to His very essence; and when I think about how He loves, He is not oblivious to the wretchedness of my heart; rather, He loves me in spite of it. What makes His love so incredible is not its ability to be blind, but its ability to see, and love anyway. It is gazing upon all that I have done, and all that I am through the eyes of grace, giving to me when I had nothing to give in return, and loving me knowing fully well that I will never be able to love Him the same. The fact that I have this kind of affection from God, when “the real me” is in plain sight before Him, is what makes His love so amazing – and so utterly baffling. You see, we will make many attempts at love; but as long as we keep our eyes closed, we will never really see the person we love for who they are. For if our love is to mean anything at all, we must love with our eyes wide open.
__________________________________________________

arghargor

2009-07-02T11:19:00.000-04:00

aorigoarigonoi
oaerignoeirn
oeirngioerneng
!!!!!!!!!

God Bless MJ

2009-06-26T15:45:00.005-04:00

I cannot believe he's gone.

The two most memorable musical moments of my life were the first time I heard Mariah's voice and saw Michael PERFORM.

I feel like a part of childhood has passed on with him. I've always felt that he was always mistreated and misunderstood by so many people. How sad it is that it's only on his death that people truly recognize not only what an amazing artist he was but his philanthropy and ability to bridge racial gaps in music and media in general. Our culture won't ever be the same without him. I think his legacy remains in these lyrics:

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change.

Self Diagnosis

2009-06-02T23:14:00.004-04:00

Do you have....

Lack of pleasure in everyday life,
diminished ability to initiate and sustain planned activity,
speaking infrequently, even when forced to interact,
neglect basic hygiene

Do you harbor...

poor "executive functioning" (the ability to absorb and interpret information and make decisions based on that information),
inability to sustain attention, and
problems with "working memory" (the ability to keep recently learned information in mind and use it right away)

?

Then you may have schizophrenia [say the ferry ads]

Funny how Bar Review causes the same symptoms.

Give yourself an Edge in the Market

2009-05-05T00:10:00.005-04:00

Sepia Mutiny sometimes features columns by humorist Melvin Durai. I happened on the following while browsing his blog and it gave me a good laugh. Enjoy!
_________________________________________________

These are tough economic times in America and elsewhere. If you're like me, you're saving money any way you can. I've cancelled my cable, invested in a good pair of binoculars and started watching my neighbor’s TV. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

In this harsh economic climate, it's important to have a job, any job. But finding a job isn't easy, especially since so many companies are giving their employees –- even the male ones –- pink slips. Competition for jobs is so intense that chess champ Vishwanathan Anand has been flooded with applications, all because someone wrote that he has “good openings.”

With all the competition, it's vital for job seekers to give themselves an edge. That's why I've decided to offer a few tips to help people stand out from the crowd. Some of these tips may seem obvious, but, trust me, they're often overlooked.

Tip #1: Learn to speak English. When the economy was strong, some folks were able to find decent jobs in America by knowing just three words of English: "Me want job." Others, realizing the importance of grammar, tried a little harder: "Me wants job."

These days, three words of English aren't enough to secure a job in any
part of America outside Miami. Job seekers must learn at least six words, particularly these six: "Would you like fries with that?"

They may seem like easy words, but some immigrants really struggle with them. A few have been fired from fast-food restaurants for repeatedly asking customers, "Would you like flies with that?"

The restaurants, as you can imagine, received many customer complaints, such as the one from a West Virginia man who threw his meal at the manager, shouting: “I thought I was getting flies with my burger, not fries."

Tip #2: Go easy on the tattoos and body piercing. Two or three are OK, but when your entire body is green, the only people you’re likely to impress are environmentalists. Well, perhaps a few others too, but they probably won’t offer you a job, unless one of them is a farmer and, with planting season coming around, needs another scarecrow.

(Yes, I know: some tattoos are works of art. In fact, Leonardo Da Vinci first tattooed the Mona Lisa on a friend's backside. Unfortunately nipple rings weren’t common in those days, so he couldn’t hang his friend in a gallery.)

Tip #3: Put your best foot forward at the job interview. This can be hard, especially if your feet look the same. Your friends can probably help you figure out which foot is better, but if you’re still unsure, consult a podiatrist.

Tip #4: Dress for success. Too many people, unfortunately, dress for failure. Don’t expect Chase Bank to hire you if you’re wearing a T-shirt that says “Go bonkers!” The least you can do is change the second ‘o’ to an ‘a.’

Tip #5: Groom yourself well. If you're a man, it's probably a good idea to trim your nails, mustache and any unruly locks of nose hair. If you're a woman, resist the temptation to dye your hair orange –- unless you’re applying for a job as a traffic cone.

Tip #6: Try to smell good. The most important thing you can do to smell good is take a bath, even if you’ve already taken one this year. You can practice water conservation AFTER the interview. A little perfume or cologne would also help, but don’t empty the bottle, unless you want to spend your day reviving the interviewer.

Tip #7: Do some research. Employers are impressed when you know something about them. You might want to find out, for example, what they do. Don't ask the manager of Cracker Barrel how heavy the barrels are. And don't ask the recruiter at Samsung what exactly it was that Sam sung.

Tip #8: Don't do drugs. Most employers test for drugs and if you fail the test, you won't get a second chance, unless you're in the National Football League. If you like to get high several times a week, apply for a job as a flight attendant. It's safer and it won't deplete your bank account. Just be careful how you greet the passengers: “Good morning! Hope you have a good fright!”

Jeepers Creepers jumpin Jeepers...It's Spring!!!

2009-05-01T19:46:00.011-04:00

We own a collection of silly old cartoons (like 1930s old) on VHS and every once in a while, I'll remember a phrase from one of the little episodes in these cartoons. Hence, the post title.

Creepy, crawly things do come out during spring. After cleaning my room for four hours the other week, I felt comfortable that unwelcome visitors could not enter through any dusty crevices, gaps in the walls or open windows. I was wrong.

Two days ago, I was working at my desk on a draft for my independent study when I got up to stretch and saw a medium sized brown spider on my ceiling. I mean right smack in the MIDDLE of my room ceiling. Not wanting to panic, I did the usual five minute stare at the insect, simultaneously shocked and hopeful it would scurry off and disappear into whatever ceiling crack it came through. Naturally, it must have felt my eyes glued to it that it sat there frozen. Did I mention I am terrified of bugs?

I thought about what to do. It was 11am at that time, and extremely warm outside. After staring at it, I walked in and out of my room, peeked in a few times, and tried to decide whether or not I could kill it and how. So I went to the kitchen, grabbed a broom, brought it back and once again, stared. Sweating and standing several feet away, I started waving the brush end of the broom at the spider. He/She didn't flinch. I put the broom down and thought, "You know what, this spider isn't bugging me. I should just let it be and continue studying." So I did. For about 10 minutes.

My next weapon was the vacuum. Needless to say, that failed.

I sprayed Lysol at it, flailed my arms like an idiot around it, uttered threatening words at it like it would understand. Nothing worked.

Two hours later, I manned (womaned?) up and confronted the spider with the broom again. With a quivering hand, I slowly approached the body of it and whacked it within an inch of its life. When it hit the floor I kept whacking until I couldn't even determine if there was a spider on the floor. It blended into my stupid coffee-colored carpet!! The vacuum came in handy at that point...

Over the years I've become more sympathetic and less fearful of animals but I've never been able to warm up to insects. My roommate in my sophomore year of college was Jain, and no matter what bug appeared in our dorm room, she would never kill it. Instead, she picked it up and let it free into the wilderness (seriously, that is an accurate description of my college campus). Oh how I wish I had the courage. As much as I love the warmer weather, I can certainly do without the pests that love it too.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

2009-04-22T00:28:00.007-04:00

Lately, I've come across several names that have tickled my funny bone.

At the legal clinic, clients call in with all sorts of strange issues and legal quandaries. Their problems are sometimes humorously enhanced by their names. Take these two encounters, for example:
_________________________________________________
RING RING. RING RING.
Me: Good morning, Legal Clinic.
Caller: Ah, yes hello. I'm having an issue with my landlord.
Me: Ok sir, what is your name?
Caller: Charles.
Me: And your last name?
Caller: Dickens.
Me: Pardon?
Caller: Charles Dickens.
Me: *slight giggle and stutter* Uh, oh, ok.
Caller: YEAH. And let me tell you chile' my life is like a tale of two cities!

We both erupt into laughter. He then proceeds to tell me his landlord is trying to evict him. SIGH.

RING RING. RING RING.
Me: Good afternoon, Legal Clinic.
Caller: Yes, hello this is Curtis ______, calling for G.
Me: Hi, Curtis. I hope you received the will that I drafted for you.
Caller: Yes, I did. I was hoping you could add something.
Me: Sure.
Caller: I'd like to devise my entire estate into equal shares for my three sisters.
Me: Ok. Can I get their names?
Caller: Blossom, Bambi, and Boo-Boo.
Me: Pause. How do you spell Boo-Boo?
_________________________________________________

It took me a long time to accept and like my name. I hated when people mispronounced it, and being the serious and paranoid child that I was, couldn't take any form of teasing lightly. Guinea, Jenny, Jeanie, Gina, Janine (yeah WTF?). Who knew four simple letters could cause so much trouble and embarrassment. On top of that, I had a very foreign last name to pretty much anybody I encountered that was not Malayalee.

Despite my dislike for my name growing up, I always corrected people when they made a mistake. In college, I even snapped at a professor ("There is no 'A' in my name.") for mangling it into what sounded like "Genina."

I also tend to tell people whose names get mispronounced to never back down and always correct it. No matter how you feel about it, it's the most powerful way you can show self-respect. It's funny how a four-letter word can teach you that.

Pause.

2009-04-17T17:17:00.007-04:00

Sometimes, I can be a big hypocrite. I struggle with people who call themselves "Christian" and then deny their faith by their lifestyle, particularly when it comes to drinking, cursing and "hooking up" excessively (among other things). But I fail to realize how often I behave in contradiction to my faith. My acts are simply manifested in different ways.

Whenever I'm about to pass judgment on someone, I will think of this post by a fellow blogger.
________________________________________________
It is the secret that we were never intended to keep. In fact, it ought to be so painfully obvious that it is hardly even worth calling a secret. However, that is precisely what it has become. While the universe in all of its infinitude could not contain God, He has done something so audacious, so unbelievable, and so incredible – He has found a way to live in you and me. This is the miracle that Heaven sings, that creation applauds, that angels cannot fathom; and yet it has gone tragically unnoticed. Somehow, we have found a way to silence the wonder of Heaven. While this world continues to breathe its last breath, we will quietly carry within us the Life that gives life; and we will never stop to notice.

This marvelous truth, the fact that God has not only bridged the chasm that separated us, but has actually made a way to live in us, is what this world desperately needs to hear. Unfortunately, we often fear that if this truth becomes too obvious, if we pursue holiness, and become passionate lovers of God, we will alienate an unbelieving world. However, the life of Jesus screams against this misconception. Indeed, it was the holiest man of all the earth that thieves, tax collectors, and prostitutes were drawn to. It was the man who was most reckless in His affection for God that sinners found irresistible. You see, while we assume that the presence of God will be foreign to our peers, co-workers, and neighbors, we fail to remember that they were made for His presence. If there is ever a moment when they will come alive, it is when they stand in His presence; but they no longer have to search the heavens to find Him; for, if we are willing to share our “secret,” they will find Him living in you and me.
________________________________________________

Christos Anesti!

2009-04-12T00:22:00.008-04:00

Today marks the most sacred and holy of days for Christian believers. In fact, it is the pinnacle and centerpiece of our faith. In the muted solemnness of Passion Week, where as a collective we attempt to experience and meditate upon Christ's suffering, we sometimes lose sight of the great news of his Resurrection that awaits us. When I reflect upon what the risen Lord means to me, I think of three things: rebirth, renewal and resolution.

On Easter, I am reminded that I am reborn in Christ through the Holy Spirit. No matter how many times I screw up or stray from leading a life of love, God is always ready to give me a second chance, always eager for me to seek his mercy and be born again in Him.

I am renewed by the great promise He uttered to his disciples to qualm their fears about the persecution and hatred they would face for their steadfast belief in Him. His promise extends to me, too. It was made to reassure me that despite all the challenges, hurdles, humiliation, loss, disappointments and pain life will bring, I can take heart, for He has overcome the world. ~John 16:33. He overcame it for me.

The raised cross in the sanctuary that I will gaze upon in worship will recommit me to the faith that I sometimes struggle to wear on my sleeve. I must resolve to act with love, patience, grace, humility, discipline and compassion - inwardly and outwardly - just as Christ did for my sake.

Christ is risen!
Truly, He is risen!

April Anniversary

2009-04-01T22:33:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday, Blog!

Ok not quite. 29 days early. But I was getting bored of the background. I'm not sure if I like this one. Still testing the waters.

I don't know how to assemble my thoughts these days.

Passing.

2009-03-23T14:18:00.005-04:00

A classmate of mine lost her battle with cancer over the weekend. I wrote about her once before. Please pray for her soul and her loved ones.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. ~II Timothy 4: 7-8

Is this real life?

2009-03-08T20:07:00.002-04:00

I...

2009-03-02T02:40:00.000-05:00

is lost.

Desi Sweep

2009-02-23T22:55:00.011-05:00

Slumdog's win(s), while monumental, seems to have overshadowed the success of two other films originating from India.

Smile Pinki and The Final Inch were both nominated in the Best Documentary Short Subject category, with Smile Pinki garnering the prize. Both films are extremely poignant and inspirational. And that's from viewing the trailers alone! I'm going to have to figure out where to watch these short films. There aren't enough theaters promoting them.

Watching the Oscars last night reminded me of another time in my life where I felt this rare pride and connection to India - rare because it wasn't elicited from my parents' stories or our trips to Kerala - but from this never-spoken but understood awareness of my heritage. It was when Sushmita Sen won the Ms. Universe pageant back in 1994. She was the consummate ethnic underdog. OH the YELPS and SQUEALING my parents endured that night.

I came close to feeling that yesterday. I guess I was so overwhelmed by all the Indian films nominated that my enthusiasm numbed. Nevertheless, 2009 is beginning to feel like the year of the crossover.

A full list of nominees and winners here.

Soundtrack to My Life

2009-02-11T21:50:00.008-05:00

Almost as stupid as the 25 random facts thing.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE

Here goes...

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

Opening Credits:
Mine Again (Mariah)

Waking Up:
How does She Know you Love Her (from the movie Enchanted. Well of course my movie's going to be a fairy tale!)

First Day at School:
All I want for Christmas Remix (Lil'Bow & Mariah. Um...I do love Christmas!)

Falling in Love:
Something Good (From The Sound of Music. That scene where Fraulein Maria and the Capt'n fall in love?! I kid you not!)

Fight Song:
Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice. HAHAHAHAH oh yeah this is REAL *badass*)

Breaking Up:
Single Ladies (Beyonce. OMG that is freaky.)

Prom:
Open Spaces (Instrumental from the movie "There Will be Blood." Is it just me or does this invoke a "Carrie" moment?)

Mental Breakdown:
Spiderman Theme (The Michael Buble/big band version. Peter Parker and I on the same wavelength. HAHAHHAHAHAH)

Driving:
Livin' La Vida Loca (Ricky Martin. I must admit this is the kind of tempo I need while driving!)

Flashback:
If It's Over (Mariah. Ok yes I know I have way too much of her...can't help it!)

Getting Back Together:
In the Morning (Mary Mary. A Gospel Tune? I guess that's appropriate. Hallelujah we're back together again!)

Wedding:
Smooth Criminal (Alien Ant Farm. Oh DEAR.)

Birth of Child:
Buddy Holly (Weezer. What the hell? Big milestones in my life will feature music by Alien Ant Farm and Weezer. Wow.)

Final Battle:
Breakable (Ingrid Michaelson. This seems more of a Flashback song. But I suppose it's melancholy enough for a final battle)

Death Scene:
Le Freak (Chic. I take my last breath on earth to a disco song. PERFECT!)

This was actually fun and ridonkulous! Ok...back to work again =/

Being Nostradamus

2009-02-10T12:26:00.010-05:00

I don't know if I can classify this story as a dream or a nightmare. I relayed it to Shirl who is probably still peeing in her pants from laughter and suggested I blog about it.

Last night I dreamt that I was living at my uncle's house, a house he lived in several years ago. This is an uncle I would NEVER live with. Somehow I ended up walking to the local Subway (as in the sandwich chain). The Subway looked like a bar/lounge but the people behind the counter were still dressed as Subway sandwich makers/cashiers. I ordered six turkey subs, but the guy who took my order ignored it. Instead he started hitting on me. He pulled out six foot-long wheat breads but never bothered to actually make the sandwich. For some reason, I still paid for the sandwiches and then after fifteen minutes, decided to forget the sandwiches and leave.

I started walking back to my uncle's house and felt someone was following me. I looked back and it was the subway guy! I picked up my pace and when he started doing the same, I turned around and shouted...

"Stop following me!"

Subway guy: "I'm not!"

Me: "Then why are you behind me?!"

Subway guy: "I live around the corner."

Me: *gulp*

After that encounter, a day seems to have passed in my dream (you didn't hear about this part, Shirl) and the next morning I hear the bell ring. When I open the door, it's the subway guy again. With my six sandwiches.

Subway guy: "I have your sandwiches."

Me: "I don't want them!"

And then I woke up.

I told my friend *Teddy* this dream and she, being the soothsayer she is, attempted to unravel it for me. The following is paraphrased.

"Gin, the six sandwiches are a good thing. They represent nourishment. You'll never starve! (me: duh! i don't think my appetite would allow me to). But the incident with the subway guy probably goes more to your insecurities about marriage. You are internalizing your want or your mother's want for you to be in a relationship. (me: HA!) Someone will pursue you but you'll probably reject him. And you're living at your uncle's house because you're trying to compromise your family's wishes with what you want."

Oh Teddy I think it's all a bunch of hooey.

Ok reader(s).... tear it apart. All interpretations are welcome.

The Phantom Lawyer

2009-01-28T19:06:00.011-05:00

There are many characters in our office. Mostly the clients, but sometimes the lawyers themselves. There's

"Abby" - our director. Sweet and charming to infinity! Has owned over 50 pets in her 50+ years. She doesn't mind being called a cat lady. Or maybe THE cat lady. Sometimes I cannot believe she worked as a public defender for almost thirty years.

"Raina" - the managing attorney. Also sweet, but a lil' more hardened due to her extensive career as a social worker. She's half-mexican and half-jewish. WHAT? Yeah, that's what I said. She laments her lack of latin street cred since she cannot speak Spanish. Raina adopted a baby girl from China years ago with her partner. Said daughter is starting high-school soon, hence this topic is on replay during convos with Raina.

"Brady" - the staff attorney, who still looks like a teenager. The sole male lawyer (next to "Randy" whose brief description is forthcoming) in the office that mostly keeps to himself but isn't unfriendly. He enjoys rock-climbing, traveling to South America and his pet iguana. I discovered all of this when we went out to an office lunch the other day. Several months from now, on another lunch outing, I'm certain he'll reveal he's leaving the law and planning an expedition to Mount Everest. With his pet iguana in tow.

"Pam" - only a couple of years elder to me but she's pretty good at displaying her legal knowledge. Pam is nice, and mostly quiet except when you ask her a question. Once that occurs, it isn't a bad idea to prepare for the LONGEST-WINDED ANSWER YOU'LL EVER GET. I don't mean to offend, but it's somewhat difficult to navigate out of a conversation with her. For example, I may ask her a quick question about child custody, and she'll begin responding with a heavy sigh, an experience she had with another legal agency she worked with, her mother's second cousin's stepson's guardianship hearing, the alphabet soup she ate the night before, and THEN the answer to the question. Mind you, I'll have a client on hold the entire time. She's devoted to her work though.

"Randy" - our part-time attorney. Comes in at 7 leaves at 2. Cancer-survivor. Nice guy.

"Akiva" - Our volunteer attorney, I dread Akiva's visits. I think she's sincere deep down but she comes off condescending. The first time I did intake with her she asked me if I knew what the word "incompetent" meant. She also whispers these things, as if nobody in our 10X10 office can't hear her. Akiva loves Israel. LOVES LOVES LOVES Israel. She can't wait to go back. This sentiment is expressed every time I see her. I suspect she thinks I'm Hindu or Muslim. I suspect this because she didn't understand how the Catholic Church worked after reading an article on the Pope and assumed I didn't since I was in her words "neither Catholic or Christian." I was wearing my cross necklace that day. She means well, right?

"Andy" - our part-time paralegal. Sweet guy. Andy's stuck with tedious tasks that nobody wants to do, like alphabetizing our fundraising donor list.

"Richard" - our three-week intern from Harvard Law. Painfully quiet but very cordial. I managed to find out he's engaged. His fiance is a librarian.

"Sam" - our part-time paralegal/law-clerk/tech guru. Sam is quadriplegic. The daredevil injured himself several years ago after falling off his mountain bike while riding. He's in law school now. I've met him twice and I'm pretty sure he must be claustrophobic of our tiny office and [possibly] Akiva.

And then there's Tom, the phantom lawyer. The only name here that is real. He used to be the executive director of our clinic, but left for New Mexico and a new wife before I showed up. Tom's name comes up so frequently that I believe I know him better than some relatives. At times, it feels like the office is grieving his loss. Case in point:

Abby: Hey Brady, can you make some coffee please?
Brady: Sure.
Abby: Tom used to make the best coffee. *sigh*

Pam: I can't believe these files are missing.
Raina: I thought I organized this section years ago.
Pam: Oh wait, here they are. Tom must have stashed them secretly for a reason.

I wouldn't be surprised if each member of our team had a big ol' crush on Tom since I've never seen a group of people speak about a former employee with such affection. And it's not just our staff. With the ten clients I speak to on average per day, at least three mention his name and how wonderfully helpful he was. Apparently, the man's philanthropic heart was open to handling unnecessary cases. At our staff meeting before Christmas, Abby passed around the holiday card he sent featuring his new baby and his dog ( Abby, of course, cooed over the dog and not the baby) and everyone was just gushing. I couldn't help but smile.

I hope I can impact a person or group of people the way Tom has. Imagine how gratifying it must be to feel that others are so appreciative of your work! Lawyers get such a rap for being sniveling and greedy. It's nice to know that there are people like him and like the other lawyers at the clinic who haven't lost their goodwill in the muddle of this profession. They remind me of why I'm in this other world in the first place. And that is incredibly refreshing.

"Oh Happy Day!"

2009-01-20T17:01:00.002-05:00

It's how one oncoming passenger to our apartment shuttle greeted our bus driver. The passenger was White, the Bus Driver, Black. They shook hands.

I can't help notice the ear-to-ear smiles on so many faces today. I can't help feeling the tug of history as I watch the new President and his family take the oath of office.

All I can say is, what a momentous occasion we've witnessed! And in the words of Rev. Joseph Lowery:

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen. Amen. AMEN!

Bored

2009-01-11T21:52:00.002-05:00

I'm watching the golden globes and felt like celebrity collaging myself. I'm not so sure these results are accurate but Amanda Peet & Rachel Bilson keep popping up repeatedly.

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

10 Things I learned from 2008

2008-12-31T13:44:00.008-05:00

10. Just because it was the year of the rat ("my" year), doesn't mean it was the luckiest.

9. The Midwest isn't so bad.

8. Yes we can! Yes we did!

7. The twenties are rough.

6. Photography is therapeutic.

5. Aging increases your sensitivity to the passage of time. It moves faster and faster and faster.

4. Coping with the loss of things you once had and admired is sometimes unbearable.

3. Transitions are easier when you're thinking about them for the long term, but terrifying when you readily face them.

2. The love of money is still the root of all evil. But having some would be nice.

1. Never give up.

The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself;

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T18:25:00.004-05:00

I dug up one of my old diaries the other day. It's weird to read your childhood journal as an adult. To humor you, I thought I'd share an entry from my "super-secret diary" which I named Claudia in tribute to my favorite babysitter from the Baby-Sitters Club series. Beware of a corny twelve-year old ahead!
______________________________________________________________________
December
Monday 1, 1996

Dear Claudia,

My favorite month is finally here! 'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Christmas, yeah! I love Christmas! I love snow! I love the vacation! Dee called me a few weeks ago. She's 5 ft. 4 inches. I'm only 5 ft. 2 in. I got to start growing up and stretching out. I'm amazed at how many books I've read this month. My school's holiday concert is on Dec. 11. I play the bass/tuba part on the keyboard. Today I went on a trip to St. John's University Library.

Now I'm sort of scared of college. I saw these big, tall boys who were smoking and yelling near the cafeteria. What if that happens when I go to college? Oh well, I'll guess I'll have to face it. But I can't worry about it now. Love ya!

Love,
me
p.s. jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg! =)
_____________________________________________________________________

I guess some things never change (my love for this holiday) while some things weren't as terrible as I expected (some of the tall, smoking dudes I knew in college were excellent conversationalists).

Merry Christmas!!

breakout....freakout!!

2008-12-16T23:03:00.007-05:00

My skin is horrid lately. I went to see a dermatologist about two and a half weeks ago (that is a whole 'nother story ) and she put me on this oral/topical antibiotic regimen that only seems to be making the situation worse. Apparently that is a common side effect.

WHAT?

It's been extremely vexing but a friend of mine who is on this same regimen told me to stick it out since she only saw results by the 4th week. I've increased water intake to 90 ounces a day and all I'm getting out of it is a heavy bladder and extra trips to the loo. My skin is the one physical aspect of myself that I have ALWAYS tried my best to take care of. Why are my hormones suddenly turning on me? Wasn't this issue supposed to be disposed of by the end of puberty?

Law school has gone beyond taking an emotional toll on me. 3 years ago I was a little lighter on my feet, had relatively clear skin, more hair and a TON of less stress. Also, I derived some pleasure from schoolwork and learning. Now I'm struggling to find a "fine balance" but keep getting stuck. I see myself as a positive person with a growing negative outlook - ironic, but frustrating. It's cliche to say that one shouldn't focus on the shallow stuff but goodness my perspective on life would change for the better if I felt comfortable in my body...skin...hair...nails...

I know I'm not alone on this one. GAHH

A better way to travel

2008-12-14T18:42:00.009-05:00

Traveling to NY from Philly is always an adventure. Unfortunately, the Chinatown buses have tested my patience. This weekend I went home via a different bus company called Bolt. I thought I'd give it a review, i.e. describe why it's better than New Century Travel.

Pros:
-Close to school therefore within walking distance if I'm heading out from class
-The aisles are way more spacious, the seats comfier and roomier
-FREE wireless (I was tempted to blog on the spot during my journey)
-Outlets in every seat
-Complimentary mints (see pic)
-Identifiable bus stops
-Decent drop-off location near Penn Station
-Friendly (read: entertaining) bus driver. He was cracking jokes the whole way!
-$13 one way. Just a dollar more than Chinatown. If I waited for the noon bus I would have only paid $10. Apparently, seats can go as low as $1 if you buy at the right time
-You don't need a printout ticket. When purchasing online, it sends you a text message and that's all you have to show at boarding.
-SAFER, CLEANER drive overall

Cons:
-With the unpredictable Chinatown bus, I could sometimes get off at West Broadway and Franklin right by the 1 train. It would only be 2 stops to the ferry.
-Chinatown buses travel every half hour at a first come first serve basis; you could hop on once you got to the stop as opposed to waiting out in the cold to get boarded

To summarize, Bolt beats New Century by a handful of points. MAJOR Bonus point: I don't have to feel like I'm risking my life when I set foot on the bus.

In other news, the weekend was quite fun. I did some Christmas shopping and vegged out at home. Today, T-dog and I went out with Nacho's friends in Philly. We had lunch at this Indian place. Beautiful ambiance, lousy masala dosa. I really need to go visit the dosa man to overcome this craving.

This week is going to feel really slow, mostly because I know that Christmas break is going to start soon so I'll be anticipating for Thursday afternoon every morning. The carols are on full blast!

Home Cookin' on a Saturday Afternoon

2008-12-06T15:39:00.008-05:00

My mom makes an amazing salmon curry. For the longest time, I've wanted to make authentic Kerala cuisine but I'm too fearful that it won't come out right.

Last weekend I had my mom pack the spices and herbs I needed to make my own fish curry. Today I experimented.

Salmon is expensive! 8.99/lb at Whole Foods. Granted, it's whole foods so it's probably 3 bucks more than at a normal grocery store but STILL. Anyway, I got back to the apartment and started preparing the ingredients. The fish was easy to cut because it was in a "steak" form so most of the skin was stripped. The ginger, garlic and onions were also relatively easy to slice and dice.

Once I got the heat going, I did exactly like mother told me - first stir fried some mustard seeds and onions. I stupidly put in the ginger and garlic before I put in the blended curry powders (turmeric, red chilli, paprika, asofetida and something else). Doing so ruined the texture of the powder before it could properly toast.

Without getting into all the steps, the whole process took A LONG time. I made some chapati and a vegetable blend of yellow and green french beans, baby carrots, pearl onions and baby bell mushrooms.

Needless to say, I was happy with the outcome...for the most part. Next time I'll save myself from future ulcers and avoid making the curry lethally spicy. Also, I'll have to sticky note somewhere not to forget to flavor the curry with salt. I always forget salt.

Aren't you proud I cooked, friends? xD

You Know You're an Adult When...

2008-12-04T17:26:00.008-05:00

1. You can't go a day without drinking some kind of hot beverage
2. You are fighting with insurance companies over the phone
3. Strangers call you Miss or M'am.
4. You watch the news more
5. You set your alarm to 6 and try to hit the bed before 11
6. You call co-workers twice your age by their first name
7. You (on occasion) take a peek at the anti-aging creams at the drugstore (out of curiosity of course)
8. Making appointments for anything always feels adult-y
9. Wine and Cheese parties
10. The ugliest and smelliest cheeses suddenly appeal to you
11. Several of your high-school classmates are engaged, married, pregnant or have kids

I can go on and on. Even though I'm experiencing adulthood, I still feel like a "kid" in so many ways. It's ironic though. When I was an actual kid, people always told me that I was mature for my age. These days, my school and work colleagues probably think I'm inexperienced and naive.

I wish I could maintain my youth without having to struggle to learn how to be a grown-up.

5 Post Habit

2008-11-30T21:07:00.005-05:00

It's the last day of November. I notice that I happen to post at least five times a month. Thought I should continue that tradition.

Thanksgiving plus the four day weekend was extremely busy. I am still sore from helping cook and clean. It was worth it though. It's always a joy to see the family, especially all my cousins. I miss their silliness. Hopefully we'll get to chat more next time.

Las amigas - didn't get to catch them this mini-break. I am determined that we will meet before 2009!

It's so pathetic that I'm already counting down to the next break. For some reason, this last one created some unexpected nostalgia. I think it's a feeling that arrives around the Holidays. Putting up the Christmas tree and decorations revives childhood memories of our old home. Actually, it revives childhood in general.

Advent starts tomorrow. T-dog said I should not merely focus on giving up something tempting, but should also add something necessary. These next twenty five days will be a challenge.

In the Spirit of the Holidays!

2008-11-22T20:23:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year again....ENJOY!!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Spring Cleaning in November

2008-11-16T22:28:00.007-05:00

My room is finally tidy! I guess this news doesn't mean much to you unless I preface that exclamation with: my room was really messy for the past six months. Take a deep breath...now share my joy!

The roommates and I have poor luck when it comes to vacuum cleaners. The five (one new, four used) that we once owned experienced nervous breakdowns within a month of purchase. Father bought a brand new Hoover for us to use (yay!) Assembling it was a pain because the power switch was not cooperating. My roomie's tech savvy friend was able to figure out the very silly issue that was causing yours truly a slight panic attack. It would have been a nightmare to return this thing.

So cleaning up took me about two and a half hours. I tried to drop hints to one roomie to please clean up the bathroom. And by dropping hints I mean literally asking, "S, can you please clean the bathroom. The ring is appearing in the toilet." Of course, as usual, my pleas were ignored. Usually this stuff gets me extremely worked up, but I was just happy that my room was clean, warm and toasty.

I wonder if people change the colors in their rooms to reflect the seasons. I think I could be happy with autumn colors all year round, although I do rearrange the furniture occasionally.

I bought an area rug from Target. Rugs are hard to shop for, mainly because I can never seem to find the right combination of pattern and color for the particular room I'm decorating. And by particular room I mean my room. And by my room I mean the one in Philly.

Ok, I'll stop before this post goes haywire. I'm going to go enjoy some tea and savor the aroma of my apple spiced scented candles.

The fastest week of my life

2008-11-14T11:56:00.004-05:00

The trip felt so long ago. Let's just say I won't be swinging by Carbondale, Illinois in the near future. The saving grace of that town is its wineries. Thankfully, my travel companion made the journey bearable.

This week went be INCREDIBLY fast. I can't believe I'm starting a new quarter on Monday. I'm hoping that it won't be as strenuous as semesters past. In lieu of a couple of classes, I'll be working 20 hours a week at the Legal Clinic for the Disabled this quarter and next. Something different to look forward to.

As time is flying by, I'm realizing that I'll be approaching the end of a wall, i.e. the open world. School has been such a shelter for so long. I fear I won't get a job, won't pass the bar, will dislike what I'm doing or simply get bored. As much as I liked my summer jobs, they were more tolerable because I knew each would run its course and that I could move on to the next thing. I want to feel settled but I think I'm doomed to field hopping. The friends and peers I know who have that sense of settlement are usually engaged or married - blah. A part of me wants that, a part of me wants to live like a gypsy - exploring and discovering new people, places, etc.

I thought life goals were supposed to be clear by now. I am more confused than ever.

Milestones

2008-11-05T19:56:00.001-05:00

The Day After. It feels good.

Tomorrow I fly out to Carbondale for some serious oral arguments. I hope I don't pee in my pants [skirt].

Sleep Weather

2008-10-25T17:31:00.005-04:00

Its so dreary outside. I don't mind rainy days, so long as there is an interval of sunlight. Today's weather is just cloudy, windy and wet. The grey outside my window was so depressing that I responded by painting my nails red.

As usual, I am prolonging studying. I can't believe the quarter is over. My first final is next Thursday!

I know I've been lazy with my blog posts, i.e. inserting videos and commentary by others instead of my own words but I can't help sharing things that are particularly thought-provoking. Hence, the following post written by a classmate on the election.

*edit: my sis tells me that the following excerpt has been circulating the net. so i gave my classmate a bit too much credit haha...glad he posted it on his fb.

_______________________________________________________________________________
What if things were reversed?

What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if, instead of being president of the Harvard Law Review, Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five?
(The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes? And was never given a command position.

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?

What if the Obamas had adopted a white child?
__________________________________________________________________________

Its something to think about. The election and the stories that have spawned from it grow increasingly bizarre (evidenced by this ridiculous hoax) and distracting. I hope that come election day, people will vote early and in great numbers. Its amazing enough to be living and breathing during this unique moment in our country's history. I can't wait 'til Nov. 4.

NO WONDER!

2008-10-16T23:04:00.004-04:00

I knew that Bob Fosse inspired dance wasn't unintentional!

Apparently, Beyonce got the concept from this video. The original song is called Mexican Breakfast, and the main dancer is Gwen Verdon.

Naturally, being the dork that I am led me to discover this reworked video by a YouTube user far more entertaining than the original's 60's elevator-Brady Bunch harmony.

Yenjoy!

B'Day Part Deux

2008-10-13T20:00:00.005-04:00

Beyonce is a motivational singer. I don't care how vapid the lyrics are, the music compels you to DANCE.

She's dropping her album in November. This is one of the upcoming singles. Think "Get Me Bodied" but less flashier. She's busting out some moves that are bordering Bob Fosse and jazz hands.

Nevertheless, she is so fly~~~

Tony the Tiger where art thou?

2008-10-12T00:21:00.012-04:00

Why must I only be surrounded by exclusively organic, overpriced, vegan-elite grocery stores?

Grocery shopping is hard when it's done on foot. I wouldn't mind hauling bags back if the products purchased were worth the trek. Whole Foods constantly tests my patience. Every time I take a chance on an item that is affordable, I wind up disappointed. Said item this time was a can of [vegetarian] chili. I opened it up this afternoon and it smelled like Ragu. It tasted like vomit. Waste of a $1.50. Also, apples should not cost $2.99 a pound! I don't care how free of pesticides it is.

Trader Joes is considerably better, but also farther. Still, it's frustrating to walk up and down aisles hoping in vain for some good old processed food. Or at least food with some kind of brand association. I'm tired of "Puffins" and "Fiber Bran." Ugh. Kashi is getting more and more appealing. Can't a girl get some Frosted Flakes? Cheerios?

I shouldn't be complaining. Millions of people in the world starve everyday. There are people in my neighborhood who are desperately homeless.

Come to think of it, there are some really delicious items at both WF and TJs that are worth the value.

Whole Foods:
-The Black Bean Adobe Soup is hearty and filling. You get about 5 servings in a container for $6.
-Roasted Pumpkin Seeds (aka Pepitas). I love pumpkins so its no surprise that this nutty snack makes the list. I think a 4oz pack is around $5

Trader Joes:
-Morningstar Buffalo Chik'n Nuggets - Tastes just like chicken, but is actually soy based. Normally I find fake meats very unsavory. But if you bake these nuggets on a cookie sheet they come out really crispy and tender with a little bit of spice/tang. A 10.5 oz box (about 18 nuggets) is $3.99
-Wide variety of breads that are very reasonably priced ($2.99 or less), including artisan breads
-Wide variety of hummus (prices range but the last one I bought was about $2.00 and lasted for a week)
-The fruits are cheaper than WF AND organic. An apple tote bag (about 10 apples) was $3
-Pad Thai in a carton is $1.99 and great for lunch
-Lettuce and veggie trays are all moderately priced

So I guess it's not so bad, except there are some basic staples that have been omitted because they're ridiculously expensive.

Oh wells. Enough of my food rant. Off to bed.

October Surprise?

2008-10-10T18:36:00.006-04:00

I'm not sure how to feel right now. The world economy is collapsing and yet somehow I believe I must be unaffected because neither my family nor I are invested in the market.

An extremely naive conclusion, I know. We are all connected in this stupid money network through student loans, credit cards, mortgages etc. Modifying one's spending is really difficult - especially when it comes to buying necessities. But this credit crunch is making me think twice before pulling out my Mastercard. One would have hoped a similar kind of caution would have coursed through the veins of executives at AIG.

Are we headed towards Great Depression II? God only knows. But I do believe that fear and panic make the whole situation worse, and the news media doesn't really help either. Their passive-aggressive behavior ("The economy is dead!" "No, it's all in everyone's heads. Stay optimistic!") is aggravating.

Barack Obama is coming to Philly tomorrow for a series of rallies. I'm hoping I can get into one. Otherwise, I'll have to turn to FDR's fireside chats for some encouragement.

Photobooth

2008-09-27T22:47:00.005-04:00

This is what happens when one has an overwhelming amount of work on their plate but very little motivation to complete it.

T-dog and I snapped a series of shots one evening that I'd like to call "The Evolution of Amy Winehouse." Because T-dog would obliterate me if I shared those photos (which I arranged in a mini slideshow set to "Rehab"), I'll just have to leave my goofiness to make up for it.

Note: This was a poor attempt at Winehouse. Started with the hair, ended up nowhere.

HAPPY ONAM!

2008-09-13T17:53:00.005-04:00

For those of you who don't know what Onam is, it's Kerala's foremost cultural festival, celebrating King Mahabali (Maveli).

Why does Kerala celebrate Mahabali? Legend has it that it was during his reign that Kerala experienced its greatest peace and prosperity. Maveli was known to be an extremely loyal and devoted follower of Lord Vishnu.

Here's a clip of one of the traditional dances performed during Onam, called "Thiruvathira." YouTube is awesome in hooking up Malayalee networks from all over the world. These women are from Munich.

For the complete story behind Onam, go here.

Unfortunately, I'm missing out on all the Onam festivities back home, especially the food!!

Overheard in illy

2008-09-12T19:17:00.004-04:00

I cannot fall asleep without some kind of noise (usually classical music) lulling me into a stupor. This has become the case with studying. So I decided to head over to B&N in Rittenhouse Square for a change of scenery, some java and an atmosphere of bustling conversation.

Its incredible how free and candid people are when chatting with each other or on the phone in public places. This one woman sitting behind me was having a talk with her therapist on her cell. I kid you not, she was asking in a loud and clear voice...

"Do you think these suicidal thoughts are normal? I mean do you think I'm showing symptoms of depression? What? You do? Hold on."

And off she went. Only to be replaced by two people, who began engaging in an interview. The woman appeared to be a journalist and her interviewee was a very, VERY proud Gay Asian-American. In the middle of overhearing their conversation and trying to learn about how creditors are remedied when debtors default, some random British dude (or chap, ha!) walked over to me and asked whether he could sit at my table. Of course, he had to ask me while I was sipping coffee, which I almost spilled out of my mouth in an attempt to answer him. So I nodded yes. He must have thought I was mute.

Do you ever feel invasive when listening in on others' conversations? Especially when the conversations feature some controversial or taboo subjects, particularly about the individuals' themselves? I do. No matter how hard I pretend to not listen (typing away, checking my cell for "missed calls"), my ears inadvertently catch more than I should hear.

Maybe I should just stick to the library.

The Contemporary [Insert Denomination] Church

2008-09-04T18:15:00.004-04:00

I recently read this post from this blog and thought it EXTREMELY PERCEPTIVE.

Enjoy!
________________________________________________________________________

#389 Church Mafia: Four Ruling Families

We’ve been known to take on some pretty controversial topics at Stuff Christians Like. Which Veggie Tales song is the greatest, whether or not you should massage someone during the middle of church, how Metrosexual your worship leader is, etc. But today, I want to go out on a limb, I want to expose the secret society that has long held sway over churches around the world. I want to talk about the Church Mafia.

The Church Mafia is a loosely constructed, by tightly wound, syndicate of four ruling families. Modeled after the Italian Mob of the early 1920s, they are the ones pushing and pulling for political power within the church. They control everything from the quality of cookie you get at Vacation Bible School to which people get elected to the Pastor Search Committee. Even mentioning they exist could get me black listed from the sarcastic writers religious speaking tour. But it’s a risk I am willing to take. I am sure I will remix this post later, possibly covering each family individually, but here they are at a high level:

1. The Elderati
Background:
Although they would never admit this, the Elderati is the strongest of the ruling families. Their influence is not often direct and visible, but is instead quietly woven into almost every decision the church makes. Once you make it into the Elderati, you can never really leave. For although your official “term” might end after a year or two, you will constantly be called into conversations and decisions long after you actually attend an Elder’s meeting. It’s rumored that they all have a small letter “E” tattooed on their ankle. But since members of the Elderati never wear shorts, it’s impossible to prove.
Also known as: “The only people the pastor fears.”
Nemesis: The Deaconistas
Signature sentence: “Have you cleared that with the Elders?”

2. The People from the Old Country
Background:
This group of people has always been with the church. You know this because they will regularly tell you, “I’ve been coming here for 42 years and I’ve never seen anything like that.” Even if your church is only 38 years old, it doesn’t matter. They probably came to the field where they predicted the church would be planted and sat in the grass in the spot where their favorite seat would one day be. Their faith may be well seasoned, but if you do something offensive to them, like accidentally park in their spot or try to add a praise song to your hymns, they will cut you.
Also known as: “The OGs” or “Original Gangsters”
Nemesis: The Changeleones
Signature sentence: “We’ve always done it this way.”

3. The Changeleones
Background:
The Changeleones are dedicated to changing things at church. The particular thing doesn’t matter, they simply want to do something different. They are constantly suggesting a change in direction, a shift in mission, a new vision statement, anything that will help the church “reach more young families” or “connect us with this generation.” They are often big on words and small on action, suggesting radical changes and then fading back into the shadows to let other people actually do the work.
Also known as: “The Fadorinis” for their uncanny ability to jump on the latest and greatest fads.
Nemesis: The People from the Old Country
Signature sentence: “We gotta shake things up around here.”

4. The Old Minister Mob
Background:
Occasionally, for a variety of reasons, a minister will leave a church. And when he or she does, the Old Minister Mob springs into action. They will regale you with tales about how amazing the old minister was, creating lavish examples of his awesomeness. “The music was just better with the old music minister. He did something with the piano and triangle that few people can. I’m not getting fed the same way with this new Family Life minister. We should bring the old minister back to speak sometime.” They will mount a verbal campaign of grouch and forget all the things they didn’t like about the old minister when he was here. They often suffer from a weird mix of “ex-girlfriend syndrome” and “small Goditis.” They look back on the old minister with rose colored glasses and doubt that God is big enough to use the new minister to whatever purpose He ultimately has in mind. Deep down, they are a good hearted family, but if they channeled the time and energy they spent grumbling, they would have a ridiculously cool impact on the church.
Also known as: “The Grumpilucas”
Nemesis: Any new minister.
Signature sentence: “I fully support the new minister but … .”

It should be noted that the families are not bound by age requirements. Sometimes you’ll find someone from the Old Country family that’s 15 and a Changeleone that’s 82. And it’s possible to have a great Elder. But all of that is starting to change. There is a new family on the scene that is starting to shake things up. A new group spilling into the church that is threatening everything the ruling families hold dear. I am of course talking about the Young Bloods.

The Young Bloods are a new generation of Christian. Whether they just came to faith recently or are having a quiet faith renewed in a loud way doesn’t matter, the results are the same. They are exploding from the inside out. They are walking into churches and coffee houses and colleges across the world and they are changing the face of faith as we know it. They don’t play by the Mafia rules, they live by grace. They don’t get caught up in the politics, they’re too caught up in the passion of God to notice they’re even there. Their faith is messy and fresh and not restricted by a desire to do things differently or do things the same way they’ve always been done. They’re not mounting a revolution, they’re giving in to a surrender. They’re rolling up their sleeves and sharing scars and stories and the overflow of a love that is too big to contain or hoard in one person. And if enough ever get together, if the Young Bloods keep coming, the Church Mafia will never be the same.

wow

2008-09-01T18:31:00.002-04:00

Its September! Where did the summer, the season, the YEAR go?

Septembers always conjures up memories of going back to school, and dreading the end of the daylight saving period among other things.

People are getting older. My cousins are off to their first year of college. It still amazes me that I'm close to a decade out of high school. Sometimes it feels like more!

I miss being irresponsible, although I do channel those aspects of myself now and again (unfortunately). I miss playgrounds and after-school boredom. I miss the parts of childhood I never had.

This nostalgia tends to creep up when I'm feeling burnt out. I guess I'll just have to suck it up. Especially since I've only just started the madness.

Party Conventions

2008-08-26T23:25:00.007-04:00

I looked forward to the DNC every four years, just to see what golden nuggets of wisdom are imparted through some of the remarkable speeches orated. I remember watching Obama's Keynote address four years ago and thinking that this guy would go places. Who knew he'd be the nominee four years later? I can't wait until Thursday to feel inspired once again.

In the meantime, I'd like to share one of the most famous speeches in American history, given by Representative Barbara Jordan, the first African-American and female Congresswoman from a Southern State at the DNC in 1976. Its an address that is hauntingly relevant to our time, and one that I think resonates with our current national conscience. Here's the audio and below is the transcript.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Democratic Convention Keynote Address:
Who Then Will Speak for the Common Good?
by Congresswoman Barbara Jordan

New York, New York, July 12, 1976

One hundred and fourty-four years ago, members of the Democratic Party first met in convention to select a Presidential candidate. Since that time, Democrats have continued to convene once every four years and draft a party platform and nominate a Presidential candidate. And our meeting this week is a continuation of that tradition.

But there is something different about tonight. There is something special about tonight. What is different? What is Special? I, Barbara Jordan, am a keynote speaker.

A lot of years passed since 1832, and during that time it would have been most unusual for any national political party to ask that a Barbara Jordan deliver a keynote address...but tonight here I am. And I feel that notwithstanding the past that my presence here is one additional bit of evidence that the American Dream need not forever be deferred.

Now that I have this grand distinction what in the world am I supposed to say?

I could easily spend this time praising the accomplishments of this party and attacking the Republicans but I don't choose to do that.

I could list the many problems which Americans have. I could list the problems which cause people to feel cynical, angry, frustrated: problems which include lack of integrity in government; the feeling that the individual no longer counts; the reality of material and spiritual poverty; the feeling that the grand American experiment is failing or has failed. I could recite these problems and then I could sit down and offer no solutions. But I don't choose to do that either.

The citizens of America expect more. They deserve and they want more than a recital of problems.

We are a people in a quandary about the present. We are a people in search of our future. We are a people in search of a national community.

We are a people trying not only to solve the problems of the present: unemployment, inflation...but we are attempting on a larger scale to fulfill the promise of America. We are attempting to fulfill our national purpose; to create and sustain a society in which all of us are equal.

Throughout out history, when people have looked for new ways to solve their problems, and to uphold the principles of this nation, many times they have turned to political parties. They have often turned to the Democratic Party.

What is it, what is it about the Democratic Party that makes it the instrument that people use when they search for ways to shape their future? Well I believe the answer to that question lies in our concept of governing. Our concept of governing is derived from our view of people. It is a concept deeply rooted in a set of beliefs firmly etched in the national conscience, of all of us.

Now what are these beliefs?

First, we believe in equality for all and privileges for none. This is a belief that each American regardless of background has equal standing in the public forum, all of us. Because we believe this idea so firmly, we are inclusive rather than an exclusive party. Let everybody come.

I think it no accident that most of those emigrating to America in the 19th century identified with the Democratic Party. We are a heterogeneous party made up of Americans of diverse backgrounds.

We believe that the people are the source of all governmental power; that the authority of the people is to be extended, not restricted. This can be accomplished only by providing each citizen with every opportunity to participate in the management of the government. They must have that.

We believe that the government which represents the authority of all the people, not just one interest group, but all the people, has an obligation to actively underscore, actively seek to remove those obstacles which would block individual achievement...obstacles emanating from race, sex, economic condition. The government must seek to remove them.

We are a party of innovation. We do not reject our traditions, but we are willing to adapt to changing circumstances, when change we must. We are willing to suffer the discomfort of change in order to achieve a better future.

We have a positive vision of the future founded on the belief that the gap between the promise and reality of America can one day be finally closed. We believe that.

This my friends, is the bedrock of our concept of governing. This is a part of the reason why Americans have turned to the Democratic Party. These are the foundations upon which a national community can be built.

Let's all understand that these guiding principles cannot be discarded for short-term political gains. They represent what this country is all about. They are indigenous to the American idea. And these are principles which are not negotiable.

In other times, I could stand here and give this kind of exposition on the beliefs of the Democratic Party and that would be enough. But today that is not enough. People want more. That is not sufficient reason for the majority of the people of this country to vote Democratic. We have made mistakes. In our haste to do all things for all people, we did not foresee the full consequences of our actions. And when the people raised their voices, we didn't hear. But our deafness was only a temporary condition, and not an irreversible condition.

Even as I stand here and admit that we have made mistakes I still believe that as the people of America sit in judgment on each party, they will recognize that our mistakes were mistakes of the heart. They'll recognize that.

And now we must look to the future. Let us heed the voice of the people and recognize their common sense. If we do not, we not only blaspheme our political heritage, we ignore the common ties that bind all Americans.

Many fear the future, Many are distrustful of their leaders, and believe that their voices are never heard. Many seek only to satisfy their private work wants. To satisfy private interests.

But this is the great danger America faces. That we will cease to be one nation and become instead a collection of interest groups: city against suburb, region against region, individual against individual. Each seeking to satisfy private wants.

If that happens, who then will speak for America?

Who then will speak for the common good?

This is the question which must be answered in 1976.

Are we to be one people bound together by common spirit sharing in a common endeavor or will we become a divided nation?

For all of its uncertainty, we cannot flee the future. We must not become the new puritans and reject our society. We must address and master the future together. It can be done if we restore the belief that we share a sense of national community, that we share a common national endeavor. It can be done.

There is no executive order; there is no law that can require the American people to form a national community. This we must do as individuals and if we do it as individuals, there is no President of the United States who can veto that decision.

As a first step, We must restore our belief in ourselves. We are a generous people so why can't we be generous with each other? We need to take to heart the words spoken by Thomas Jefferson:

Let us restore to social intercourse the harmony and that affection without which liberty and even life are but dreary things.
A nation is formed by the willingness of each of us to share in the responsibility for upholding the common good.
A government is invigorated when each of us is willing to participate in shaping the future of this nation.

In this election year we must define the common good and begin again to shape a common good and begin again to shape a common future. Let each person do his or her part. If one citizen is unwilling to participate, all of us are going to suffer. For the American idea, though it is shared by all of us, is realized in each one of us.

And now, what are those of us who are elected public officials supposed to do? We call ourselves public servants but I'll tell you this: we as public servants must set an example for the rest of the nation. It is hypocritical for the public official to admonish and exhort the people to uphold the common good. More is required of public officials than slogans and handshakes and press releases. More is required. We must hold ourselves strictly accountable. We must provide the people with a vision of the future.

If we promise as public officials, we must deliver. If we as public officials propose, we must produce. If we say to the American people it is time for you to be sacrificial; sacrifice. If the public official says that, we (public officials) must be the first to give. We must be. And again, if we make mistakes, we must be willing to admit them. We have to do that. What we have to do is strike a balance between the idea that government should do everything and the idea, the belief, that government ought to do nothing. Strike a balance.

Let there be no illusions about the difficulty of forming this kind of a national community. It's tough, difficult, not easy. But a spirit of harmony will survive in America only if each of us remembers that we share a common destiny.

I have confidence that we can form this kind of national community.

I have confidence that the Democratic Party can lead the way. I have confidence. We cannot improve on the system of government handed down to us by the founders of the Republic, there is no way to improve upon that. But what we can do is to find new ways to implement that system and realize our destiny.

Now, I began this speech by commenting to you on the uniqueness of a Barbara Jordan making the keynote address. Well I am going to close my speech by quoting a Republican President and I ask you that as you listen to these words of Abraham Lincoln, relate them to the concept of national community in which every last one of us participates:

“As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of Democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference is no Democracy.”

Thank you.

First Day

2008-08-25T08:43:00.001-04:00

*Deep breaths*

Family Tragedy

2008-08-17T01:45:00.004-04:00

This story really moved me.

Our lives are as frail as our breaths. If you want to help, go here. Please keep this family in your prayers.

While I'm at it...

2008-08-07T19:26:00.004-04:00

Picking up from my last post, I've been reminiscing about the glory days of Bollywood. The "glory days" is a term I use to describe the period {late eighties to late nineties] where I was OBSESSED with Madhuri, Sridevi, Juhi the Khans and the mega-hits associated with the aforementioned.

I feel kind of disappointed and betrayed by the way the industry is molding its movies and actors this past decade. There is something so unoriginal, distasteful and downright annoying about the characters and stories in the post-20th century films. Is it too much to ask for movie-makers to stop injecting/forcing Western culture into every plot, sub-plot, dance number and personality trait? Or to forego standing on line for the last American Rom-Com to come out on DVD, copy it, and then triple its length? Why does every picture feel like a walking advertisement for the latest {Western} trends (in fashion and now music)?

Call me old-fashioned and traditionalist but I miss the tackiness and camp of Hindi-cinema back in those "glory days." Somehow the stories were more sincere back then, more relatable. I'm sad that the rest of the world is being increasingly exposed to today's Bollwyood.

Ah well, maybe this is how the generation before me felt about the stuff that I liked. This classic clip from Khal Nayak, for example, was considered the most taboo of them all. Oh have the times changed.

oldies

2008-08-06T20:18:00.006-04:00

Because my parents are under the Asianet trance, I've resorted to watching television on the computer. In fact, I recently read that more and more people are tuning into their PCs (and Macs. and Ipods. etc) and foregoing the traditional tube. Hulu has been an amazing resource. Its allowed me to discover those fantastically good programs I've only heard about but never got a chance to watch because I never grew up with cable and Nick at Nite.

The two shows I'm most frequenting are the Dick Van Dyke (DVD) and Mary Tyler Moore (MTM) shows. I knew that Mary Tyler Moore starred as the wife on the former show and so was relieved to know that her show was completely unconnected with Dick Van Dyke's. It would be really uncomfortable to watch her show if it was a spinoff where she's divorced from Rob Petrie.

Anyhoodle, these old sitcoms make me long for the days when television was well-written, funny and didn't resort to crude humor. But there are definite and obvious generational/cultural gaps with some of the themes on the show. For example, DVD is very humorous but there isn't an episode that goes by where Rob Petrie reminds his wife Laura in subtle and not-so subtle ways what a "good little housewife" she is. For all its wholesomeness, the show sure did a good job of telling its audience what and where a woman's place was.

MTM turns on the opposite side of the coin, but it doesn't feel any better. You have a single, working woman who's desperately lonely and constantly reminded that she is those three things, but especially the fact that she's unmarried. And its not that she's this staunch feminist who hates men; she's really eager to find someone but she's surrounded by jerks or pervs or really old guys. Its a comedy with strong undertones of sadness. *Sigh* I thought career women were supposed to have it together by 30.

I need to find a book to read before I start psychoanalyzing these characters and drive myself berserk.

Remi

2008-07-26T18:01:00.006-04:00

Yesterday, the ladies and I enjoyed some fine dining at this Italian place for Restaurant Week. And by fine I mean expensive.

Because I don't have the energy to create a proper food blog-post, I'll sum up the experience this way: Beautiful ambiance and decor (I've tried to capture the Venetian theme in this poor quality video ala my cell), moderately good food (I had garganelli with fried zuchhini), superb company. Overall, a happy night.

Next week is my last week with the DA. I can't believe nine weeks have gone by. Times flies so fast when you work. I'm looking forward to having a few weeks off but dread potential boredom. My goal tomorrow is to plan out what I want to do for my staycation. Maybe a scavenger hunt. Any takers?

Balehead

2008-07-19T17:50:00.001-04:00

My love affair with Christian Bale started when I was ten years old and three years late in watching Disney's Newsies. Ever since then, I've watched pretty much every movie he's been in since the start of his career.

I've just discovered that some awesome YouTube user has posted the entire movie. If you haven't seen it, watch before Big Brother takes it down. It has enough camp to last you through the summer.

Oh and go see the Dark Knight. You will NOT be disappointed.

unusual (read: regular) episodes in the V.eezy household

2008-07-15T21:35:00.005-04:00

Once upon a time, a father and his third daughter (D3) went to the BK for an interview D3 scheduled with a hospital. On the way, they came across a fruit market, filled with delicious, exotic mangoes. Said mangoes were purchased for a borderline exorbitant price and whisked away across a bridge, a highway and bustling street traffic until it reached its final destination: a perfectly chilled, awaiting refrigerator.

Hours later, after a heavy meal and even heavier nap, the father teetered down a staircase leading to his brightly-lit kitchen. His second daughter (D2) was busily scrubbing a greasy stove-top, when she noticed her father's haggard, squinty-eyed and hunched appearance.

D2: "Hi, Dad. Why are you awake? And why are you hovering over me as I clean?"
Father: [Blank stare}
D2: "Daddy?"
Father: [walks over to fridge and retrieves a mango]
D2: "Why are you eating that now? Its too late. And you look really full!"
Father: [silence]
D2: "I don't think you should eat that. Especially with your stomach problems."
Father: [grumpily] "I want it."
D2: "WHY?"
Father: "Because I can't sleep until I have it!"

20 minutes later:

Father: "I'm going to schedule an appointment with the gastroenterologist."
D3: "Who?"
Father: "Dr. Papaya."

The thing about barbeques...

2008-07-14T22:39:00.003-04:00

I've been to several bbqs in the past several weeks. My favorite thus far has to be the one I got to volunteer at in the Red Hook section (i.e. "the hood") of BK. Our office sponsors an annual bbq for the kids/locals in that neighborhood and we interns along with ADAs help grill and serve food. I honestly believe several of those children were not getting fed at home because they were coming back for 4+ servings. Anyhoodle, the DA graced us with his presence. Though we briefly chatted, I did not ask to take a pic with him, which was a goal. I'll just have to wait until next time.

Our annual Church picnic was on Saturday. It was probably the most boring Church picnic I've been to in a long, long time. This was probably due to several reasons: a) I did not bring my volleyball b) My sisters were not there c) Most of the cousins were absent and c) A variation of b & c, i.e. NOBODY my age was present. I felt quite awkward because either there were kids who were 5+ younger than me or adults 6+ older than me with their own brood. Moreover, though I spoke with many there, I couldn't help feeling disconnected with them. It seems as though I have very little in common with members of my community. Actually, my detachment with people in my Church and my denomination is not recent - its been waning since the mid-90s. But that's another story for another day.

Time for bed.

weekend update

2008-07-06T18:47:00.004-04:00

Independence Day

Shopped. Went to the airport to drop off D and family. Traveled with my ever amusing cousins. Battled neighborhood kids to park the car because they became territorial [again] with the street. Sigh, happy 4th.

Day after

Planned to go hiking. Too muddy and wet. Hung out with the ladies. Fun times were had with Cranium and Taboo. They are Annadale experts now ;)

Today

Went to Church. Sustained a massive headache and nausea due to poor contact lenses. Drove T back to Harlem. Vomited. Thank God for extra plastic bags.

At present

Recovering from said headache.

SHOUT OUTS!

2008-06-28T11:46:00.003-04:00

*Big congrats to my cousins L&D for graduating high school. I love these people and I can't wait to be there for the next milestone!

*My friend Ars is pregnant! How exciting!

*To TD for landing a promotion!

Today I cleaned my room. My room is normally very tidy but because my suitcase was not emptied (since there is no room to put away its contents), all my clothes were strewn about my floor. Cleaning up personal space relieves stress. I still have to tackle my closet which is a beast of its own. SIGH.

kiss kiss, bang bang

2008-06-24T19:44:00.005-04:00

In re: today's blog post title: A college intern was watching this movie out of boredom on his ipod in the conference room.

Its been so long since I've blogged-blogged. So many interesting, hilarious, freakish and exciting things have happened at work in the past four weeks. Those episodes are too detailed to narrate here.

Speaking of banging, tomorrow a group of us are taking a two hour tour of a firearms/ballistics lab. Yes, that's right. We are going to a shooting range. Where we will potentially be shooting [guns].

Should be educational, no?

Harry, Charlie, and the cutest little clip on the net

2008-06-14T13:27:00.001-04:00

I watched this a while back and it always incites giggles.

Such a testament to brotherly love and affection!

my feet hurt

2008-06-09T19:19:00.002-04:00

Actually its just my left pinky toe. The heels I was wearing today were fine for my right foot but the pinky toe has been aching all day. UGH such is the price for being "stylish."

Is it just me or are there more bag ladies in NYC than ever? There's this one 60-ish woman who puts on her makeup on the train without fail. Her makeup kit is hidden in one of the three bags that she hauls on to the train. And within the cosmetic case is another mini-case that holds all her eye essentials, including the large mascara stick that she uses every morning at 7:15. I feel like I'm watching an actress put on her face backstage at the theatre. AWKWARD.

I started to feel a bit bag lady-ish this morning when I carried an additional sack for my ballet flats. But those feelings disappeared once the sweltering heat [and rush hour] hit. Thank GOD for flats.

Why do they call it "tanktops"?

2008-06-02T21:13:00.004-04:00

Is it because people who originally wore them were career-carnival clowns who were dunked into water tanks for amusement?

Why does seawater appear green at some angles and blue at others?

Do NYC rats devour steroids via sewage waste?

These are just some of the VERY random questions I ponder on the commute to work. The daily grind begins at 5:30 am and ends more than twelve hours later. Last week was my first week at the office. The workload was a mixture of tedious administrative stuff and some action in court. Today was by far the most exciting - I've been following one of my attorneys who is prosecuting a robbery and attempted murder case. This afternoon, on the second to last day of trial, one of our material witnesses came in. I couldn't believe it. My fellow intern couldn't believe it. We were sure that she would not show up because she is under witness protection. Hopefully, the jury will render a verdict for us tomorrow.

Although I've worked this kind of schedule before, seeing actual attorneys at work and knowing that I'm so close to the end and to [God-willing] practicing is kind of mind-boggling. I look at the little sleep and little pay these hard-working public interest lawyers endure and admire their tenacity. At the same time, there is definitely a part of this industry that I absolutely detest. I imagine these dynamics are simply how it is in every profession.

Its amazing how small our world is. The fellow intern who was assigned to my bureau that's been chilling with me at court lives two blocks away from me. Train rides don't feel as long with her company. Today I was fortunate to catch my Dad on the ferry home.

Speaking of our beloved ferry, when the heck did the morning boats play short stories over the intercom? Its slightly creepy to hear this voice lulling me to sleep with a classic tale about the high seas. I could use that sedation right about now though...

Tradition, Honor, Sacrifice...

2008-05-26T18:59:00.001-04:00

From today's Times.

What the History of Memorial Day Teaches About Honoring the War Dead
By: Adam Cohen

Memorial Day got its start after the Civil War, when freed slaves and abolitionists gathered in Charleston, S.C., to honor Union soldiers who gave their lives to battle slavery. The holiday was so closely associated with the Union side, and with the fight for emancipation, that Southern states quickly established their own rival Confederate Memorial Day.

Over the next 50 years, though, Memorial Day changed. It became a tribute to the dead on both sides, and to the reunion of the North and the South after the war. This new holiday was more inclusive, and more useful to a forward-looking nation eager to put its differences behind it. But something important was lost: the recognition that the Civil War had been a moral battle to free black Americans from slavery.

In “Race and Reunion,” his masterful book about historical memory, David Blight, a professor at Yale, tells the wistful story of Memorial Day’s transformation — and what has been lost as a result. War commemorations, he makes clear, do not just pay tribute to the war dead. They also reflect a nation’s understanding of particular wars, and they are edited for political reasons. Memorial Day is a day not only of remembering, but also of selective forgetting — a point to keep in mind as the Iraq war moves uneasily into the history books.

Many of the early Memorial Day commemorations, Professor Blight notes, were like Charleston’s, paying tribute both to the fallen Union soldiers and to the emancipationist cause. At a ceremony in Maine in 1869, one fiery orator declared that “the black stain of slavery has been effaced from the bosom of this fair land by martyr blood.”

Less than a decade later in 1877 — when Reconstruction ended in the South — at New York City’s enormous Memorial Day celebration, there was much talk of union, and almost none of slavery or race. The New York Herald declared that “all the issues on which the war of rebellion was fought seem dead,” and noted approvingly that “American eyes have a characteristic tendency to look forward.”

There were dissenting voices. Frederick Douglass, the great abolitionist leader, continued to insist that Memorial Day should be about the battle between “slavery and freedom, barbarism and civilization.” But the drive to make the holiday a generic commemoration of the Civil War dead won out.

The new Memorial Day made it easier for Northern and Southern whites to come together, and it kept the focus where political and business leaders wanted it: on national progress. But it came at the expense of American blacks, whose status at the end of Reconstruction was precarious. If the Civil War was not a battle to determine whether a nation “dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal” could “long endure,” as Lincoln declared in the Gettysburg Address, but a mere regional dispute, there was no need to continue fighting for equal rights.

And increasingly the nation did not. When Woodrow Wilson spoke at Gettysburg on the 50th anniversary of the battle, in a Memorial Day-like ceremony, he avoided the subject of slavery, Professor Blight notes, and declared “the quarrel” between North and South “forgotten.” The ceremony was segregated, and a week later Wilson’s administration created separate white and black bathrooms in the Treasury Department. It would be another 50 years before the nation seriously took up the cause of racial equality again.

Since 1913, Memorial Day has changed even more. It has expanded — after World War I, it became a tribute to the dead of all the nation’s wars — while at the same time fading. Today, Memorial Day is little more than the start of summer, a time for barbecues and department store sales. Much would be gained, though, by going back to the holiday’s original meanings.

When Memorial Day began, the war dead were placed front and center. The holiday’s original name, Decoration Day, came from the day’s main activity: leaving flowers at cemeteries. Today, though, we are fighting a war in which great pains have been taken to hide the nearly 3,500 Americans who have died from sight. The Defense Department has banned the photographing of returning caskets, and the president refuses to attend soldiers’ funerals.

Memorial Day also began with the conviction that to properly honor the war dead, it is necessary to honestly contemplate the cause for which they fought. Today we are fighting a war sold on false pretenses, and the Bush administration stands by its false stories. Memorial Day’s history, and its devolution, demonstrates that the instinct to prettify war and create myths about it is hardly new.

But as the founders of the original Memorial Day understood, the only honorable way to remember those who have lost their lives is to commemorate them out in the open, and to insist on a true account.

rapid fire

2008-05-20T23:51:00.006-04:00

and here goes another stream of consciousness post ala su-coll style...

finals done. comp crashed. went to multiple nj malls with M. new logic board needed.

weekend fun fun fun. friends visited [missed some of you!]. reading terminal. split better-than-Abner's philly cheese-steak with C. revisited old city, south street. greeted history again. hopped the subway to the bridge. saw iron man. robert downey jr. is back. C dislikes gwyneth p. wandered center city. ate at marathon grill. reminisced about life, memories, food, people. served [horrendous] cookies that friends [appreciatively] ate. slept at 3. got up at crack of dawn thanks to excellent view. went back to sleep. left for art museum. failed attempt at picture with rocky statue. finagled our way through yogis on museum steps. saw great art. LOTS of paul cezanne. favorite painting by charlemont. nothing beats the MET. ate brunch at the bishop's collar waited for phlash. obnoxious driver. rain rain rain. reading terminal again. tearful [kidding!] send-off in chinatown. waited for phlash times 2. obnoxious driver times infinity. ceaseless rain. slept. cleaned.

moot court competitions yesterday and today. impressive oralists. wore judge's robes. very cool. felt like a renaissance woman. judging gives me a headache. but today more fun. finally done with DL for at least three months. saw sublet today. thank GOD for craigslist. going home tomorrow. wish i could go to cape cod and martha's vineyard this weekend with las amigas. start work next week. exhausted. nervous. excited.

need to go shopping.

Screwing Courage to the Sticking Place

2008-05-13T14:02:00.014-04:00

A Bible-passage I read last night so appropriately responded to my present mind-state. I am compelled to share it.

The apostles said to the Lord, “Show us how to increase our faith.”

The Lord answered, “If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘May you be uprooted and thrown into the sea,’ and it would obey you!

“When a servant comes in from plowing or taking care of sheep, does his master say, ‘Come in and eat with me’? No, he says, ‘Prepare my meal, put on your apron, and serve me while I eat. Then you can eat later.’ And does the master thank the servant for doing what he was told to do? Of course not. In the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.’”

~Luke 17:5-10.

Our world places so much emphasis on self-confidence, self-esteem, self-motivation, self-everything. While these are important values, sometimes believing in yourself just doesn't cut it. But believing in God will ALWAYS cut it. I am a self-proclaimed worry wart, and though I may not always show it on the outside, inside I am all goo and nerves when faced with even the silliest challenge. This whole concept of putting all my burdens, struggles, doubts and fears onto a higher Power is certainly not new to me. But being tested in a way that's somewhat indescribable gives faith a whole new meaning.

Why is it so much easier to believe our teachers, classmates, parents, friends and even non-well-wishers to do things for us when asked? Why am I sometimes afraid that God will not answer my prayer? Or more tellingly, answer it the way I selfishly want it answered?

My sister passed on a little anecdote to me a while ago that I thought was enlightening. God's answer to our prayer takes three forms: yes, no, or wait. Practicing faith is all about waiting, its all about fulfilling our duties the best we can, without expecting anything in return. Its about recognizing that we are eternally blessed, because He is unconditionally taking care of the rest.

!!!

2008-05-09T13:55:00.003-04:00

I think I'm having an internal conversation with my sporadic posting on this blog.

Current feeling: Mental fatigue
Current peeve: Know-it-alls; especially ones that are sitting only a few feet away, speaking very loudly and reveling in the ability to intimidate people with their knowledge.

Nikon Coolpix L11

2008-05-08T23:57:00.004-04:00

I bought a refurbished camera for $60. This was a test shot, possibly illustrating the effects of studying for finals, namely:

1. a phony smile and
2. an intense need to squeeze the nearest stuffed animal

Normally I would post this on the flog, but alas, it doesn't accept pics larger than 2MB!

Maya Arulpragasam

2008-05-07T21:27:00.001-04:00

There are few South Asian [diasporic] international musicians out there. M.I.A. is one of them. Having discovered her in college, the only thing that really attracts me to her music is the occasional awesome layering of South-Indian beats into her music. This is one example, and a pretty good one. Usually her songs leave me disturbed and somewhat confused (youtube "paper planes" and you'll see what I mean) but the rhythm is undoubtedly addictive.

Again, lyrically, you may leave this song scratching your head. But that's ok! She has that effect on people...

PRODUCTS LIABILITY

2008-05-06T22:41:00.003-04:00

I'm in the process of studying for this exam which will fall on my sister's birthday. I hope that gives me luck.

Why do I keep daydreaming when I know how critical these stupid finals are? I need the fire in my belly from the beginning of this year. I started 2L like a tiger and I'm leaving like an asthmatic sloth. It doesn't help that home is the biggest distraction in the world, for good and bad reasons. But tomorrow its back to Philly and God willing, back to a studying-state-of-mind.

Alor Cafe and More

2008-05-04T00:29:00.004-04:00

The girls and I checked out a new place, thanks to Su's savvy google hunt. It was quite lovely! It seems the big menu item there are the crepes. The six of us dished out on savory crepes (salmon, chicken and I don't remember what Su and May's crepe was) and dessert crepes (The Trio, Banana Rum and Apple Streudel). They were all delicious, but we all came to the consensus that the savory crepes were just a tad better. The decor channeled a feng shui theme which created a very relaxing atmosphere to eat/chat in. I especially liked the plexi-glass tables that encased all kinds of coffee beans, nuts and other organic looking objects. Whenever I see crepes, I'll think of this place and that crepe-master by my school. Yum! Colleenus also returned from La Espanola and bought us some delectable chocolates and beautiful postcards. Her adventures made me quite jealous. I am so ready to bounce out of the U.S. and travel the world!

After the mini-reunion, I had to stop by the mall with la hermana to get my computer fixed. I spilled water on it a few days ago and fearing that it would malfunction, decided to get the apple geniuses to diagnose any problems before a potential crash on exam day. They said they fixed the disk errors and replaced my battery so I'm crossing my fingers that nothing will go amiss. Thank God for AppleCare!

I can't believe finals are here. I welcome them, only to be done with 2L. But I am so mentally unprepared for these next two tests. My mind is fixated on summertime. 10 more days!

Celebrations

2008-04-29T09:29:00.007-04:00

*Today is my blog's 1 year anniversary. I've changed the layout and title to commemorate it. Both reflect the state of mind I hope to reach one day: total serenity. After googling the title of my blog, I discovered there is a novel of the same name and it is apparently an Oprah's Book Club favorite. I'm going to have to read it someday.

*My Parents' 29th Wedding Anniversary is today. 29 years. Wow. We are old. But old is gold!

*My nephew and aunt celebrate their birthdays today. Happy Birthday!

Today is also international dance day so get your groove on people!

Maybe by tonight I'll be in a celebratory mood once my finance paper is done. I'm feeling stuck with it. Please send some good karma and prayers my way.

My Story

2008-04-28T12:12:00.014-04:00

*I saw this "survey" while passing through some blogs so I thought I'd play along, too*

Hi, my name is: gini

but you can call me: gin, gino, ginster, ginnah, ginenous, ginrummy, kitty

Never in my life have I: fell in love (in THAT way).

The one person who can drive me nuts is: nuts in a bad way - GW Bush.; nuts in a good way: Matilda

My high school is: ranked #22 in U.S. News & World Report. Rankings, shmankings....

When I’m nervous: i bite my lip and experience an uncomfortable lump in my throat.

The last song I listened to was: "Cruise Control" from Mimi's new album

If I were to get married right now it would be to: please my parents?

My hair is: falling out! GAHHHH

When I was 4: I was traumatized by a velvet shirt I owned that featured a baby tiger on the front which I was forced to wear on picture day. I thought the tiger would eat me.

Last Christmas: was full of yuletide cheer! (i.e. fun with the fam)

I should be: buried in research

When I look down I see: my laptop

The happiest recent event was: getting news that I'm an inaugural Public Interest Law Fellow!

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ : I would be the missing minority, Ashwathi Shawntay Josefina Chen Gopalanathan

By this time next year: I'll be preparing a dance routine, preferably set to POMP & CIRCUMSTANCE

My current gripe is: Maintenance trolls in my apt.

I have a hard time understanding: people whom you love trifling with your feelings

There’s these girls: that I miss so much. Can't wait to see you all!

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: my parents/sisters

I want to buy: nail polish.

Where do you plan to visit: New Zealand. Before I'm 30.

If you spent the night at my house: we'd laugh like hyenas at unfunny things.

The world could do without: Extremism, guns, pollution, ignorance and crocs

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: A loofa sponge

Most recent thing someone else bought me: An ornament from the Mardi Gras festival in 'Nawlins.

My middle name is: Elizabeth

In the morning I: Pray.

Last night I was: on the phone with mi hermana pequena.

There’s this guy I know who: is merely a fantasy. *sigh* Mr. Darcy

If I was an animal I’d be a: Lion, according to my zodiac. But if I had my way, probably a gazelle. Or a turtle.

A better name for me would be: Layzee Bohns. I'm not going to lie, I've got this thing for campy soap-operaish names like Veronica, Olivia and Isabella or really exotic Persianish names like Zara and Zasima. *high glamour*

Tomorrow I am: writing, reading, moping, hoping.

Tonight I am: doing laundry

My birthday is: a time to celebrate the gift of ME to the world. =p

Emancipation of Mimi to the SECOND Power

2008-04-26T19:59:00.004-04:00

As many of you readers may know, Mariah Carey is my favorite singer. So it should come as no surprise that I pre-ordered her new album. My review in a nutshell: Its awesome!! More R&B flavored ballads along with the usual commercial pop songs and a really odd club number which I'm not sure why she threw in there. Anyway, you can get a preview of her songs here.

I remember first hearing Mariah's voice when I was eight years old. It was 1992, and she had released her second or third album by then. I think I saw her on some PBS special and she was singing "Hero" and the voice gave me chills and I've been hooked ever since. Though I can't relate to her lyrics all the time, its provided an escape from some really crappy moments in my life.

No matter how "divaish" she appears to people, the woman is still pretty humble and she knows not to take herself too seriously. To be able to still be current almost twenty years after she first came out is a big accomplishment. She's not just a singer either: she writes and produces all her songs. That's rarely seen these days. I hope young people who are just discovering her will listen to some old-school Mariah to see why she became as famous as she is now.

God is Good

2008-04-25T18:54:00.002-04:00

I love Fridays!

BARACKY: THE MOVIE

2008-04-22T21:44:00.001-04:00

In honor of the PA Primaries, I thought I'd post something that I found fun to watch. Enjoy!

A Papal Visit

2008-04-20T12:51:00.001-04:00

The barrage of media on the Pope's arrival in America prompted me to make some interesting discoveries. First off, I didn't know that it had been 29 years since a Pope last visited the United States! Second, the man is a Mozart enthusiast. (yay! apparently he plays the piano regularly) Third, he shares a birthday with Su!.

I'm not sure how Catholics feel about Pope Benedict, but it must be hard for him to follow a charismatic leader like John Paul II. Admittedly, I didn't warm up to the idea of Cardinal Ratzinger, former Hitler youth member and man-who-inserts-foot in mouth-regularly, rising to be Pontiff. Anyhoo, he seems like a genuinely passionate Catholic and frail old man which satisfies the basic criteria.

I'm posting this video of Kelly Clarkson singing Ave Maria. Pope Benedict seems awkwardly cute in here, and she does a phenomenal job. Its such a beautiful and moving song, its no wonder my eyes water whenever I hear it!

Meeting a First Daughter

2008-04-17T22:47:00.006-04:00

Today was overwhelmingly exhaustifying. But it was also the highlight of my week.

Chelsea Clinton came by our law school in a surprise visit. She came to speak in an informal setting about student loans and affording graduate education. Naturally, other issues were brought up as well but it was pretty much repetitive talking points. Meeting her was cool. She's very down-to earth and sincere. I told her that she was courageous to come out onto the campaign trail for her mom; and that I volunteered for Senator Clinton's campaign when she first ran back in 2000. ("Volunteering" limited to handing out pamphlets teehee). There were about 80 students and faculty in the room. Overall, it was a good event. This is the pic I took from my camera phone, which explains why it looks crappy. She definitely resembles Hillary.

In other news, I interviewed with the public interest grant selection committee. I really, really hope they consider me as a finalist. Otherwise its back to another unfunded summer. =/

Balmy weather

2008-04-12T10:49:00.004-04:00

Its almost 70 degrees out. As much as I welcome this mild temperature, I dread the seasonal allergies that accompany it. Its weather like this that also makes me want to do less work and more play. Granted, there's no one around at the moment to do anything with, but just walking outside and staring into oblivion is preferred than sitting inside, cooped up in my room doing work.

Yesterday was such a crazy day. It started off with filling out last minute applications for a public interest grant through my school for the summer. Thankfully, the coordinator was on top of her game and didn't make me wait or go through hoops and hurdles to get those in. After that, I attempted writing my brief, but once again was distracted by the gorgeous weather and people around me that I couldn't help but conversate with.

I went to my first pro-bono (service project) session yesterday. I'm part of a group called Project Peace who's mission is to train students in elementary and high-school peer mediation and conflict resolution skills. The high-school that we're working at opened up its doors at the same time our law school did; its been an inaugural moment for both institutions. The kids were really great! They were really enthusiastic and I think they had a good time. I'm hoping I can get to know them a bit better next week, though. I missed the first session so they were more familiar with my fellow law students who were there last week.

I got home around 7pm only to find that my room had been ransacked by our apartment management. I thought I was robbed at first, but noticed all my stuff was still here. Our apartment has been renovating its heating and cooling system and changing vents in apartments. For the past three weeks, they've left notices on our door telling us when they'd be coming and so on so we could remove our belongings etc. But they never left a notice about coming into our bedrooms!! Nor do they leave notes after they come in (when nobody's home) to inform us of what they were there for. Needless to say, I was infuriated and called up the maintenance desk (useless, as always) and ranted for about five minutes. I'm going to have file a complaint or something on Monday because this is getting ridiculous.

The sniffles are coming. I'm going to buy some Claritin.

April may not be so cruel after all...

2008-04-06T23:02:00.003-04:00

except for all the mind-numbing assignments that have to be completed. the more work on my plate, the less motivation I have to do it.

had an interview this weekend. went really well. the people were awesome. definitely something to think about for the long-term future.

spoke at my church on saturday for Makarios' Thirumeni's 40th day memorial service. didn't expect to be there, let alone to speak. my uncle insisted upon it. i miss Thirumeni.

looks like i might be set for the summer. *crossing fingers*

did absolutely nothing of major value today. oh wait, i spent time in solitude listening to heart-thumping music. totally worth it.

today feels like april 6 going on may.

Lost

2008-03-31T19:39:00.002-04:00

I am in the middle of drafting the argument section of my appellate brief for my appellate advocacy class.

So overwhelmed. At this moment I feel as though I'm going through 1L all over again. =/

JABBAMINIS!

2008-03-27T02:34:00.001-04:00

So I've been recently obsessed with MTV's America's Next Best Dance Crew, despite the fact that I don't have the channel...gots to love the youtube! My favorite team is the "Jabbawockeez" (They've never discussed the origin of the team name though I suspect it may be connected to Lewis Carroll's poem of a similar name). Other than the fact that they are fabulicious dancers and amazingly humble, I find the masks they wear to be intriguing. Its kind of the effect that I had after watching V for Vendetta. (V was pretty hot!) Anyway, I digrss.

One of the missions of the team is to inspire other people to innovate hip-hop. Several videos have spawned across the web featuring Jabba fans. I think the Wockeez would be happy to know that they've inspired all kinds of people, across generations. Just take a look at this cutiepop and let the smiling begin!

Politics as Usual?

2008-03-26T20:22:00.005-04:00

So this election season has proven to be everything, including ordinary. I'm not surprised by the level of vitriol both Democrats' sides have spouted. Nor am I surprised that the media is totally into making mountains out of molehills ("she cried!" "His middle name is HUSSEIN!"), lowering the level of political discourse in the country by focusing on non-issues (the latest news is that Obama is distantly related to Brad Pitt and Hillary is the ninth cousin twice removed from Angelina Jolie. No joke) and preemptively crowning the next President of the United States. Mr. America himself, the Golden Child, Barack Obama. Fine. Whatev'.

What does surprise me is how even in the best and most opportune of times to win an election, the Democratic PARTY is once again showing that it sucks at mobilizing and unifying candidates. I really believe that we need a Democrat in office come January 2009. In previous elections, to some extent, I was voting independently of the party, focusing solely on the candidate and where he stood on the issues. This time around, the ideology itself is what I feel is best for our country, no matter who the face is on the ticket. The party and the candidates, however, seem to find that the moment is ripe to have an all-out, box 'til the death, oh-no-you-didn't slap fest. While they slap away, I fear the election will be slipping away.

My support will always be behind Senator Clinton. There are just too many reasons why for me to list here. But I think its time she set her candidacy aside and allow someone less divisive to represent. I just hope that come November, the "loyalists" will not be stopping in their tracks to reconsider Senator Obama and [regretfully] vote for the status quo. That will be a sad, sad day indeed.

He is Risen!

2008-03-23T20:54:00.006-04:00

This was my first Easter spent away from home. Fortunately, I got to celebrate the Resurrection with my aunt, grandma and cousins down here. They are Malankara Catholic, which is basically "Orthodox-lite," so most of the liturgy was identical to our regular Orthodox service.

I don't know what else to write, so I'll stop before I start talking about how awesome the weather forecast is going to be this week (the quintessential subject in dulling a conversation -- blogwise or in real time). It's supposed to be sunny. I hope your week is as well!

Christ is the Reason for the Season.

2008-03-17T22:26:00.006-04:00

And another Holy Week Commences.

What does Holy Week mean in the larger context of our faith? It is a time for Reconciliation, Repentance, Remembrance, Renewal and Resurrection. It is the most important time period of the year for Christians because it is essentially a recognition and celebration of the reason for our faith.

This Easter will be the first I'll be spending away from home. Though it makes me sad I won't get to observe this Passion Week with family, I welcome the solitude. Its another opportunity for...Reflection. Around this time of the year, I watch my favorite film adaptation of the Gospels, Franco Zeffirelli's "Jesus of Nazareth." A really awesome user on YouTube has posted up the entire miniseries (here).

"Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
~John 17:32-33

slip and fall

2008-03-14T11:29:00.004-04:00

So yesterday as I was getting off the Chinatown bus in the city, I slipped down the bus stairs (ala sliding down a tube at a theme park into a large pool) and landed on my bum. The bus steps were slippery (lawsuit!); I noticed there was water when I got on the bus so I took extra precautions when I walked on but forgot to do the same when I walked off. A man with a cane (picture a proverbial sage) followed my fall and told me to slow down.

The pain's been radiating since yesterday and I wonder if I'll need an x-ray. Proof that it was a ridiculous incident: a giant bruise on my left butt cheek. I never bruise no matter how hard I fall!

I'm wondering if that old man was right. Do I need to slow down? Sometimes I feel like I'm not moving fast enough, like there's never enough time in the day to complete my work and get to the next step. I feel like I've already spent so much time pontificating and daydreaming that I'm only now catching up with the present. I want to savor each day life has to offer, but at the same time I feel like that is only possible when I am a settled person (i.e. when most life goals are met).

Sigh. My mind is so tired right now. I think I'll go nap. Sleep is the fastest way to slow down, no?

a lil' sweat ain't neva hurt nobody

2008-03-12T18:39:00.007-04:00

Beyonce makes me smile. And this song makes me dance like a fool!

The weekend went by quickly, but it went well. A mix of work and play was had. My friend Teddy and I hit up the King of Prussia Mall, which is probably one of the prettiest malls I've been to.

I love the Daylight Saving period. The longer the light stays out, the happier I feel. Now that the darkness has descended, I'm going to have to return to my cave of a room and study again. Ah well, with music like the above, I can hopefully stay motivated and look forward to Thursday!

Cheers to a new week!!

The Optimist Creed

2008-03-06T00:43:00.001-05:00

I found this from a fellow blogger.

Promise Yourself;

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

2008-03-02T19:47:00.003-05:00

Manana begins a new semester.

I was working on assignments this afternoon and realized how dry and complicated classes will be. Once again, health law rears its ugly head in Part 3 (Now with more FINANCE and ECON angles! oh goody!). Health Law 3 is basically an abridged version of an accounting course. I may have to contact the accountant in our group of amigas to help me sort through this awful mess of number crunching.

Administrative law is a mess of another kind. Its the kind of subject that reminds one of how bureaucratic our system of government is. UGH.

The other two courses are performance/writing courses. I'm glad that Trial Advocacy is pass/fail, though I think our teacher has purposely assigned heavier readings than normal because its not letter-graded.

The summer job search has been futile. Waiting for doors to open soon...

Leap Day

2008-02-29T12:05:00.003-05:00

1,460 days until another leap year.

I never really got why we have leap years. I found the following to be helpful:

The leap year is a contrivance so that the calendar year (usually 365 days) doesn't get too far away from the solar (astronomical) year. You say: huh? Well, the astronomical year – the time it takes the earth to go exactly once around the sun – is not precisely 365 days. The ancients estimated it as 365¼ days. That wasn't bad as calculations go; it's actually 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 46 seconds.

Now, you may think that crummy little fraction (almost 6 hours or 1/4 of a day) doesn't matter much. But every four years, the calendar would lose a full day against the seasonal year. Christmas (Dec. 25) would start to come a little earlier each year. After about 20 years it would come before the winter solstice; after 200 years or so, Christmas would come in the autumn (since the seasons are tied to the astronomical year, because they depend on the earth's slant relative to the sun) . . . and then in summer . . . and . . .

To prevent this drift between the calendar year and the astronomical (seasonal) year, we add one extra day every four years. Thus, over the four year period, we have 1461 days, not 1460, for an average of 365.25 days per year. That pretty much makes it come out right.

This innovation was imposed in the year 709 AUC (ab urbe condita, after the founding of the city), when Julius Caesar regulated the calendar. Nowadays, we refer to it as 45 BC. The Nicaean Council in 325 AD adopted that calendar for Christendom.

But it still wasn't precisely right. As noted above, the astronomical year isn't 365 days 6 hours (365.25 days), it's 365 days 5 hours 48 minutes and 46 seconds (365.2422 days). So as the calendar went along with its jolly add-a-day-every-four-years pattern, it gained about 11 minutes 14 seconds every year. After every 128 years, that was a full day. Note it's going the other direction – Christmas would fall LATER in the season each year.

This anomaly was corrected by Pope Gregory in March 1582. By that time, the calendar year was 10 days off the seasonal year. ( The real concern was not Christmas, but Easter, which had to occur near the vernal equinox and according to the lunar cycle, but that's another story.) They made two corrections. The first was that they just dropped ten days. The day after October 5, 1582 became October 15, 1582. (Some countries adopted this change later, in some cases centuries later.) This restored the equinox to its rightful place. The second change was to reform the calendar to prevent slippage in the future; and we use that same calendar system today, called the Gregorian.

(Footnote: The Russian Orthodox Church still uses the Julian calendar. Christmas comes out about January 7 in their calendar. About every century, the Orthodox Christmas slips one more day against the solar calendar. Currently there's a 13 day lag that by 2100 will become a 14 day lag.)

How does the Gregorian system work? We still have a leap year every four years, to accommodate the almost 6 hour difference that was known in Julius Caesar's time. The Gregorian correction is that every hundred years, we make it NOT a leap year. Thus, 1700, 1800, and 1900 were not leap years, even though they would have been in the normal four year cycle. Thus, every 100 years, there are 24 leap years, not 25. So that lets the calendar year average 365.24 days each year.

Does that do it? Sadly, no. There are still those extra seconds – the astronomical year is 365.2422 days. So every 400 years, we DON'T NOT add the extra day (double negative intended). So 1700, 1800, 1900 were NOT leap years, but 2000 was.

If you've followed the math, that gets us very close. Over a 400 year period the calendar will contain an average of 365.2425 days per year.

Every 4,000 years (the first will be the year 4000, then 8000, etc.) we make the century years NOT leap years again. And that gives us an average of 365.24225 days per year over a 4.000 year period. Still not exact, but the calendar year won't vary by more than a day from its current place in the seasonal (astronomical) year in two hundred centuries – close enough for practical purposes.

So the rule is:

Every year divisible by 4 is a leap year (adds an extra day to February),
EXCEPT the last year of each century, such as 1900, which is NOT a leap year . . .
EXCEPT when the number of the century is a multiple of 4, such as 2000, which IS a leap year . . .
EXCEPT the year 4000 and its later multiples (8000, 12000, etc) which are NOT leap years.

Clear? Wait till I drag in the Jewish and Muslim calendars, as is only fair considering our vast multicultural audience.

The Jewish calendar is based on a lunar cycle – that is, each month is based on the interval, about 29 or 30 days, from new moon to new moon – so it's short by about 11 days per solar year. Since the Jewish holidays are supposed to be season-related (they were originally harvest festivals), the calendar adjusts by adding a whole month about every three years – actually, 7 times every 19 years. The calculations are precise but VERY complicated, and if it took that much space to describe the fairly simple common calendar, I ain't gonna do anything more than what I just said for the Jewish calendar.

The Muslim calendar is also lunar, but it doesn't adjust. Thus, the holidays come about 11 days earlier in the season each year. Some years, Ramadan comes out in the spring, then in winter, then in fall, etc. Since Ramadan involves fasting from sunrise to sunset, it's a heckuva lot easier when Ramadan comes in deepest winter (shorter period from sunrise to sunset) than when it comes in the spring. It takes about 35 years for everything to cycle round again. About as long as it took you to read this article, probably. But at least now you've got the facts.

so peeved

2008-02-27T20:15:00.000-05:00

so so so peeved right now

!!!!!!

Rest in Peace, Beloved Makarios

2008-02-26T13:59:00.006-05:00

Someone special to my Church and family passed away on Saturday.

The words that come to mind for many about Makarios Thirumeni (Bishop) are probably the same: intelligent, driven, charismatic, humorous, worldly, courageous, a talented story-teller. Thirumeni holds a particular place in my heart because he was our greatest advocate during a time when it looked like Church politics would supersede faith. There are so many moments I can reminisce about. I think many who knew him would agree about how approachable he was, how regular he was among clergy who generally are very intimidating or aloof to communicate with. In my opinion, Thirumeni was the single most influential individual in the hierarchy of our Orthodox Church in the West. His larger than life personality attracted hundreds of thousands of people, across ages and cultures. He was the only Bishop in our Church to really push the notion that our Orthodox ideals and traditions COULD co-exist in a progressive society. He was really the only Bishop in our Church who took an active and consistent role in educating non-Orthodox, non-Christian and non-Indian communities about who Christ was and what our faith was about.

Makarios means "blessed" in Greek. I remember him saying this mantra often" "Be better tomorrow than you were today." I only hope those us wanting to continue in the traditions of the Church will be able to live up to his legacy.

I got a chance to write an article/obituary about Thirumeni's recent passing that will hopefully be published in this Saturday's S.I. Advance. I'd like to share it so that more can learn about what a great soul he was. Here it is, before the editors water it down.
_____________________________________________________

*Charismatic and Influential Bishop, Dr. Thomas Mar Makarios, Dies at 82

Bishop Dr. Thomas Mar Makarios, founder and leader of the U.S.-Canada Diocese of the Malankara Orthodox Church of India and a much-beloved professor of religious studies died Saturday morning,
Feb. 23, in Newcastle, England. He was 82.

The Bishop was in England for his annual pastoral visit to the parishes in the United Kingdom and Ireland when he sustained serious injuries in a traffic accident on January 5. He remained hospitalized until his passing. The mortal remains of the Bishop will be brought home to Kerala, India and entombed at the Catholicate Palace Chapel, Kottayam, which is the headquarters of the Church.

The Malankara Orthodox Church was founded by St. Thomas, an apostle of Christ, in India in 52 A.D. Many in the family of Dr. Makarios have devoted their lives to serving the Church as bishops, priests and nuns since the Church's inception, and that tradition continues.

Bishop Makarios began his career as a teacher, later resigning his position to study theology. After completing his theological education in India, he was ordained as a priest in 1952 and was appointed as the first Vicar of the Orthodox Church in New Delhi, India's capital. He was able to sow the seeds of several churches in the Northern parts of India. He immigrated to the United States from India in 1963 in pursuit of higher education, receiving his masters in religion from Virginia Theological Seminary and a doctorate in theology from Union Theological Seminary in Richmond, Virginia. He went back to India and became a professor of Church History at The Orthodox Theological Seminary in Kottayam, Kerala, India. In 1975 he was elevated as a bishop and was then appointed as the first Metropolitan Bishop of the new Bombay Diocese of the Church. In 1979 he was appointed as the first Metropolitan Bishop of the United States and Canada.

Bishop Makarios's leadership was instrumental in establishing the first Indian-Orthodox Churches in North America. The growing Indian-Orthodox Christian community on Staten Island signaled an opportunity to assemble and formally incorporate a parish. In 1980, he consecrated the first Indian-Orthodox Church in the western hemisphere, St. George Malankara Orthodox Church of India in New Dorp. He frequently visited St. George during the Church's feast days and other celebrations. "Makarios Thirumeni (Bishop) was a gifted storyteller and a teacher. His commitment to our Church was sincere, and he always reminded us that our Church was the first newborn of Indian-Orthodoxy in the west. We were privileged to have him play such a tremendous role in launching our parish. The Church has lost one of its brightest gems and he will be deeply missed," says a founding member of St. George.

The Bishop's ministry was not confined to the Indian-American community; rather it expanded across various ethnic, cultural, and religious communities to enter into the mainstream. He established mission centers in Washington, Louisiana and Minnesota for the benefit of non-Indian communities. During a reorganization of the Diocese, Bishop Makarios was given the responsibility of heading the Dioceses of Canada, the United Kingdom & Europe.

A very well accomplished organizer and a renowned speaker with a rare sense of humor, Mar Makarios intertwined the Eastern and Western cultures and explained the differences between the Eastern and Western modes of religious thinking to his congregation and to his students. To start a Diocese from complete barrenness and to help it grow to around 75 parishes and 7000 families in the United States speaks volumes about the organizational acumen of H.G. Dr. Thomas Mar Makarios and the leadership of the Church. He constantly traveled to minister to his churches and was a frequent guest of church leaders around the world. Most recently, he traveled to the city of New Orleans to minister to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

The Bishop also taught at Alma College in Alma, Michigan for 25 years as professor of religious studies. "My mission at Alma is not just academic alone," he said. "By being on campus, I'm a father figure to many students to help them in their personal lives. Sharing with students about their concerns and their problems — that is part of my calling." His students noted his non-judgmental and accepting personality, even though he represented a specific Christian perspective. His passion for students included introducing them to Indian philosophy and culture. He encouraged and made it possible for Alma students to visit India. He helped develop the Alma India Program, which has a relationship with the Mathen Mappilai Memorial Public School in the village of Ayroor in the state of Kerala, India.

Bishop Makarios, the eldest of five children, is survived by his younger siblings, two of who are clergy and one who is serving as nun in the Church. He became a U.S citizen in 1993.

A dizzy week

2008-02-19T13:05:00.005-05:00

Have you ever had moments where your train of thought is invaded by the most random memories/songs/images etc.?

In the middle of taking my pretrial advocacy exam, the song "Its a Jolly Holiday with Mary" from "Mary Poppins" popped (pardon the pun!) into my head and I couldn't get it out!! Why do such things happen at the most inopportune times?

On top of finals, I'll be leaving for NY tomorrow because I have an interview on Thursday with the DA's office in Manhattan. I'm extremely nervous and excited at the mere chance of getting to interview with them. However, I'll still have to come back home and complete another take home exam before Friday night. After glancing at it this weekend, I'm resolved that I'll essentially be teaching myself an entire quarter of health law regulations and policy in a two day period. NOT FUN. Medicare and Medicaid - be gone!

Last night I dreamt a memory about an IHOP breakfast I had with las amigas a couple of years ago. They were asking me what kind of law I'd want to practice, and cauliflower randomly and probably jokingly suggested I ought to be a prosecutor. I scoffed at the idea then, but lo and behold - here I am contemplating a 180. I must have dreamt this out of anticipation for Thursday. Sometimes, certain memories just stick with you. Bah we'll see what happens.

The weekend could not come fast enough!

Flying On One Engine

2008-02-15T23:29:00.001-05:00

This man is a blessing.

From http://www.flyingononeengine.com:

Wheelchair bound, without a larynx, and diagnosed with a life-threatening aortic aneurysm, Dr. Sharadkumar Dicksheet now lives only (and barely) so he can travel to India to perform free operations in marathon-like surgery sessions where up to 700 children receive treatment for their cleft lips and other deformities. Although Dicksheet survives off of social security while living in his Brooklyn apartment, his life is drastically different in India where the eight-time Nobel Prize nominee is treated like a living god. FLYING ON ONE ENGINE shows how this quirky, funny, and sometimes difficult character overcomes his own ailments by helping others.**

What do you call people like this? Angels on Earth.

be mine.

2008-02-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

~e.e. cummings